Tell Me I'm Dreaming
by ForeverNicole
Summary: Clarissa Morgenstern is a artist, model, and singer. Clarissa has lived with her father for the past 4 years. When Clarissa and her brother are united at he brothers band signing, will Carissa's world change? What happens when Clarissa meets Jonathan's roommate and band member? Will a certain blonde hair, golden eye boy find his way into Clarissa's heart. (M for lemmons)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Clarissa, Clarissa." Valentine said while shaking his daughters shoulder trying wake up the petite red head.

"What?" groaned the girl, rolling over to her side to see her father's face.

"You have to get dressed; Jonathan's signing starts at 2 and its 11." Valentine said patting Clarissa's head.

"Just because he has a signing, doesn't mean I have to get up." Clary said sitting up in her bed, giving her father a death glare.

"Clarissa wont you be supportive of your brother. It's the least we can do." Valentine said "Rah!" Clarissa groans into her pillow.

"Come on It won't be that bad Clary." He said with a smirk.

Clary rolled her eyes. "You won't have mom criticizing your clothes or having her say things like 'Oh Clarissa I do wish you would stop getting tattoos.'"

Valentine let out at laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "Well then just stand beside me, she won't come near me. I have Jocelyn replant on, but do congratulate your brother for my sake." He said poking Clary in the stomach.

"Fine." Clary said climbing off her bed and walking into her bathroom.

* * *

><p>*20 minutes later* (Clary POV)<p>

I walked out of the bathroom, and walked into my closet. I pull on my black leggings, white crop top, and a jean jacket, and slid my feet into my black high heels.

I walked out of my closet and grabbed my purse. "Clarissa we have to go." My dad said knocking on my door.

"I'm coming." I said and opened the door.

"Clary, your tattoo is showing." He said and pointed at my side. I shrugged my shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

"Are we taking the jet?" I asked as we walked towards the front door.  
>"Yes, your mother is having a limo pick us up at the airport."<p>

"A limo? Wow I wonder who she had to flirt with to get that kind of money." I giggle and looped my arm his. We walked out of the house and down the side walk.

"Edward, will you take us to the airport please?" Dad said to our driver standing by the car. Edward smiled and shook his head. Dad opened the car door and I slid inside, then he slid in after me.

"You should call your mother and tell her we are on our way." He said shutting the car door.

"You have a phone, why don't you do it?" I answer starring out the window as the car drives down the street.

"Clarissa, you know how much it would mean to her if you called." He said grabbing my hand.

I sighed and looked away from the window. "Fine."

I grabbed my phone out of my purse and grabbed my cigarette pack.

I dialed my mom's phone number and held the phone to my ear, after two rings she picked up.

"Clarissa! It is so good to hear from you." My mom yelled into the phone.

"Yeah, it's great to hear from you too." I said and put a cigarette between my lips.

"How are you, how's your dad? Jonathan, Luke and I can't wait till you both are here. Chicago is so far away from New York. How's art school? Your father has told me so much about your gallery. Although, I've seen pictures of you on the news and you're smoking. Clarissa are you still smoking?"

I rolled my eyes and lit my cigarette. "Yeah mom still smoking, dad wanted me to call and tell you we are on our way."

"Oh good, I can't wait to see you. But Clarissa you really need to stop smoke-."

"Bye mom." I said and ended the call. I looked over towards my dad who was laughing at me, I flipped him off and he cocked his eye brow at me.

"I seriously don't like you right now." I said and flicked my cigarette ash out the window.

"She just misses you Clary that's all." He said placing a cigarette in his mouth, and lighting it.

"Well I don't see her flying to Chicago to come see me." I said starring back out the window.

* * *

><p>The rest of the car ride was full of awkward silence and phones ringing. Once we arrived airport, Edward parked the car in front of the building. We got out of the car and walked into the airport; we walked past security and walked to the jet hanger.<p>

"It will probably take us 45 minutes to get there, so don't get too comfy." Dad said walking up the jets stairs. I nodded and walked up behind him, I found my seat and sat down.

"How's working coming?" I asked trying to break the silence.

"Good, there have been some complications with the new workers, but nothing I can't handle." He said flipping the page of the news paper.

"When are you guys building your new skyscraper?"

"In August, it's going to take a little bit more time to draw out the plans."

"That's good."I said and grabbed my phone.

"Clary did you know that Jonathans band is going to stop in Chicago next month." He said looking up from his paper.

"Oh really. That's great." I said sarcastically.

"Yes, he is going to stop by the house when he is in town."

"Good." I said not actually paying attention to what he was saying.

"Clary? Im going to marry Edward and I want to you to be there."

"Yeah sounds good." I state.

He walked over to me and grabbed the phone out of my hand. "Hey!"

"Clarissa your brother is coming to Chicago with his band. He is going to stop by the house when he is in town."

"What? Why? Does he have to?"

"Yes next month and yes it will be nice to see your brother without your mother breathing down our necks." He places my phone back into my hand, and kissed the top of my head. "Just give him a chance Clary, he's different then the last time you saw him."

I turned my head away from him and looked out the window. I heard my dad sigh and turn away from me; I picked up my phone and started scrolling through my notifications.

"I'll try ok. I can't promise anything." I muttered

"Thank you." He answered buckling his seat belt. "So how is the gallery, any new pieces you're working on?"

"Yeah I have two I need to finish but besides that it should be fully opened next month." I smiled to myself.

"That's good to hear, maybe when Jonathan is in town you can show him your gallery." He smiled at me.

"Yeah maybe." I answered.

"Mr. Morgenstern we will be landing in a moment. Please buckle up and prepare for landing." The pilot said over the intercom.

* * *

><p>Once we landed the flight attendant opened the jet's door, letting in the sunshine. I stood up and followed my dad out of the plane; we stood on the first step and looked out to see a black limo pull up in front of the plane.<br>"Oh, Jesus." I whispered. "I wonder which organ mom had to sell to pay for that." I said and put on my sunglasses.

My dad laughed and walked down the stairs and headed towards the limo. A man jumped out of the front seat dressed in a glitter purple tuxedo.

"Magnus Bane, family friend and manager of 'A Mortal Perspective'." The tall glittery man said reaching out his hand to my father.

"Valentine Morgenstern, owner of 'Morgenstern Contractors'." My dad said shaking Magnus's hand and getting into the car.

"Clarissa." I said and got into the car behind my dad and shut the door behind me.

"I honestly don't understand why we couldn't just rent a car and drive there." I said looking out the window.

"Because this is your mother we're talking about. Everything has to be perfect, and if it's not perfect she'll complain."

"True, but if they come to Chicago for my gallery they can walk to the show. I'm not paying for a car that is going to drive 10 minutes to the gallery." I said and started laughing at myself.

"Now that would be a sight, seeing your mother walk from the airport to the gallery." He laughed and patted my knee. "Hopefully there won't be any arguments tonight."

"I'll walk home, if there are." I stated and looked back out the window.

"Well hopefully it won't come to that, besides I seriously doubt you'd get far in those heels." HE said and pointed at my shoes.

"Maybe not in these shoes, luckily I brought my sneakers." I said and plugged my converses out of my purse, and look at him. He shook his head and laughed; he looked back down at his phone and sighed.

"It's 1:30 we are going to be late." He muttered typing his fingers on his phone.

"its fine dad, all we have to do is show up and congratulate him and then we can leave, 20 minutes tops."

"Clarissa. You and I both know your mother won't let you leave that fast. Don't worry we won't be here for that long, we'll be home sooner than you think." He looked over at me and smiled.

I smiled back and rolled down the window, I grabbed a cigarette out of my pack and lit it. I put my ear phones on and pressed play on my phone, hoping that the music will make this car ride go faster.

* * *

><p><em>Hey Lucy, I remember your name<br>I left a dozen roses on your grave today  
>I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away<br>I just came to talk for a while  
>I got some things I need to say<em>

_Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I'd give up all the world to see  
>That little piece of heaven looking back at me<br>Now that it's over  
>I just wanna hold her<br>I've gotta live with the choices i made  
>And I can't live with myself today<em>

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday  
>They said it'd bring some closure to say your name<br>I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance  
>But all I got are these roses to give<br>And they can't help me make amends

Here we are, now you're in my arms  
>I never wanted anything so bad<br>Here we are, for a brand new start  
>Living the life that we could've had<p>

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
>Me and Lucy never wanna end<br>Just another moment in your eyes  
>I'll see you in another life<br>In heaven where we never say goodbye

Here we are, now you're in my arms  
>Here we are for a brand new start<br>Got to live with the choices I've made  
>And I can't live with myself today<p>

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand  
>Me and Lucy never wanna end<br>Got to live with the choices I've made  
>And I can't live with myself today<p>

Hey Lucy, I remember your name

I felt a nudge on my arm; I turned to see my dad trying to get my attention. I pulled the earphones out of my ears and paused my music.

"We're about to pull up." He said pointing outside the window.

There was a swarm of photographers, and reporters all lined up by the building taking pictures of everyone who stepped out of a car. I sighed and put my phone in my purse, I looked at my dad with a serious face.

"So they come out with 1 album and now they're famous?" I asked looking out the window at the photographers getting their cameras ready to take more photos.

He shrugged his shoulders and unbuckled his seat belt. The car came to a complete stop, Magnus got out of the car and opened my door.

"Thanks." I said with a smile. He leaned forward "Once these photographers take your picture, you'll never have privacy again. You know that right?" He said and leaned back. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"Yeah I know but you do crazy things for family." I said and grabbed my purse and walked around the car towards my dad.

"Welcome to hell." I muttered which made my dad smile.

* * *

><p>We walked a few steps then got stopped by photographers and reporters."Excuse us, Miss what's your name?" a man with a microphone asked me.<p>

"Clarissa Morgenstern." I answered and he looked at me dumbfounded.

"Why are you here, Miss. Morgenstern?"

"I'm here to support my brother Jonathan." I answered "Now if you'll excuse me." I said walking past the group. I wait a minute for my dad who's still talking to a reporter. I wave my hand at him telling him to hurry up; he smiles at the reporter and walks up to me.

"They are worse than my lawyers." He mutters and I loop my arm under his.

"I could use a cigarette right now." I muttered and pulled open one of the doors. I walked through the door and felt arms wrap around me.

"Clarissa! I'm so happy you're here!" a woman yelled in my ear.

"Hi mom." She finally let go of me and stepped back. She looked me up and down and frowned.

"Clarissa, you look so grown up." She said and looked down at my stomach. "You got your belly button pierced, and your nose." She muttered and put a fake smile on her face.

"Yes I got them for my birthday last year." I said and took my sunglasses off and put them in my bag. I got a better look of my mother, she had more wrinkles in her face and her hair was faded. Her hands looked worn out, her eyes hung heavy, and there were dark circles under her eyes covered up by foundation.

"Valentine, Its good to see you." She looked from me to dad.

"Jocelyn." He nodded his head and walked away from us. Mom watched him walk away and sighed.

"He's very tired, works been busier than ever, especially with the new skyscraper he's trying to build in Chicago." I lied

"I'm sure. So anything new with you?" She asked

"Um, not really I got new tattoo last week. Besides that no." I answered and looked over her to try and find my dad.

"I'm going to go find dad, he probably looking for Jonathan." I said and walk over towards the seats.

"Ok well, we'll catch up later then?" My mom called after me, I just kept on walking away trying to get a lot of distance between us.

* * *

><p>I walked around the room, looking at the photos and quotes that hung on the walls. I walked up the stairs that led to the CD signing room.<p>

"Excuse me Miss but they're not signing anything right now." A tall white haired old man said to me grabbing my arm and walking me down the stairs.

"Let go of me now." I stated and yanked my arm out of his grasp.

"Don't go up there till its time." He stated

"I was looking for my dad."

"Why would your dad be up there?" He asked angrily.

"He was looking for my brother."

"Well maybe you need to keep better track of your family." He stated.

"Well maybe you should stop being an asshole." I spat back.

"Look you little bitch!" He said raising his voice.

"Hey! Jeffery what seems to be the problem here my man?" A tall blonde boy said coming up behind the angry old man.

"This girl was trying to get in to the signing room." He said looking back at the blonde hair boy.

"Jeffery why don't you go back up to the signing room and I'll take care of her." The blonde boy said and the old guy walked back up the stairs and into the room.

The blonde boy look me up and down and smiled. "So who were you going to see in the signing room?"

"My brother and my father." I stated. "Look if this is going to be a problem I'll just leave."

"God knows I didn't want to come any ways." I mumbled

"What does your brother look like I could help you find him?" He said smiling at me.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in 4 years." I answered and pulled out my phone.

"What?" He asked.

"I haven't seen my brother in 4 years, what part of that didn't you understand?" I said and walked past him, he grabbed my wrist.

"What's your name?" he asked losing his grip on my wrist. A shock of electricity shot through my body at his touch, my cheeks started to burn.

"Clarissa." I whispered and walked towards the doors.

* * *

><p>I walked towards the front doors and looked around the room, trying to find someone I know. I stood there for a minute or two till a tall black hair girl runs into me.<p>

The next thing I know I'm on the ground, looking up at tall Black haired girl. She reaches down and grabs my hands and pulls me up.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you! Oh my god! I'm really sorry." She said brushing off my leggings.

"Its fine, I didn't see you either so it's both our faults." I said picking my purse off the floor.

"Do you want me to sign something of yours?" She asked pulling out a sharpie maker, I step backed and shook my head.

"No thanks, I'm good." I said

" Well do you want a signed CD or a signed poster?" She asked handing me a CD, I looked down at the CD and shook my head, I handed it back to her.

"No thanks I don't want it."

"Then what are you here for?" She asked while putting the CD back in her pocket.

"I'm here to support my brother." I stated

"Oh he's a really big fan? Aw that's so sweet." She said

"No he's in the band. He plays the electric guitar. I think, I'm not really sure, I haven't seen him in like 4 years." I answered looking past her and spotting my dad. "Um will you excuse me please?" I asked and walked past her towards my dad.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere!" I said walking up to him.

"I'm sorry Clarissa; I went outside for a cigarette. It's a little chaotic in here." He pointed towards my mom who was standing next to a tall curly brown hair man who had his arm over her shoulder.

"Is that Luke?" I asked looking at the man standing next to my mother.

My father nodded his head and rolled his eyes. "He owns Barnes and Noble."

"So she left you for a librarian? Wow." I looked at my dad and we both broke down laughing.

"I'm so glad to see that you two are having such a good time." We both looked up to see my mom and Luke standing in front of us.

My dad cleared his throat and straightened his jacket; He looked over at me and smiled.

"Luke Garroway." Luke said reaching his hand out to me.

"Clarissa Morgenstern." I said coldly accepting his hand.

"So Clary, your mother tells me you opened a gallery in Chicago. How did your dad afford to open it?" Luke asked looking me up and down.

"It's Clarissa not Clary, and my father didn't pay for my gallery." I said with a smile. "I did."

I looked at my dad who had a proud smile on his face. "Clarissa did modeling to help pay for it, but for the rest she took it out of her bank account." He said with a sneaky smile on his face. He looked at my mother who had a shocked look on her face.

"Modeling? What kind of modeling? Clothes? Shoes?" She asked looking at me.

"Victoria Secret lingerie." I stated smiling at my mother. My mother's eyes widen and her mouth hung loose. Luke's face turned bright red and stared at me; I looked at him and smiled.

"I got extra cash for every tattoo." I smiled and looked at my dads who looked like he was going to pee his pants laughing.

"Clary! Valentine! How could you let our baby girl do modeling in under wear?" My mom yelled at my father.

"It's Clarissa and I'm 20 years old, not 16, Im a legal adult. I'm not a baby anymore." I corrected her.

"Clarissa, you don't understand, you do these things now when you're young, and then you will regret them much later on in life."

I started to laugh. "Regret? Please don't tell me about regret. You left me remember?" I stated and walked past her.

"Clarissa!" I heard my father call after me, I just kept walking trying to get as much space between my mother and me as possible.

* * *

><p>I walked out the back door and saw a bench and plopped down on it. I reached into my purse to find my cigarettes; I grabbed them and pulled a cigarette out. I didn't realize I was crying, I sniffled and rolled my eyes.<p>

'Why am I crying? Jesus Christ! Oh where the fuck is my lighter?'

"Need help there?" I heard from behind me, I turned my head to see the blonde hair boy from earlier standing with his hands in his pockets.

"Do you have a lighter?" I sniffled and looked up at his golden eyes.

"Yeah, you ok?" He said and sat down next to me.

"Yeah just family reunions suck ass." I said and exhaled smoke.

"I understand, before our meeting earlier, have we ever met before? You look very familiar." He said and pushed a strand of hair away from my face. I smile and clasped my hands together, and leaned my back against the bench.

"No probably not, I don't live here, I'm from Chicago."I answered and leaned my head back and looked up at the clouds.

"Nice tattoo, what's does the quote mean?" He pokes his finger at my dream catcher on my ribs.

"'Dream your dreams with your eyes closed…but live your dreams with your eyes open.' I got it after opened my gallery." I answered flicking the cigarette ash on the ground.

"Gallery? You're a painter?" He asked looking down at me, I looked up at him and shook my head.

"Yes, I've been drawing ever since I could hold a pencil."

I looked back up at him and he was smiling at me. My phone started to ring, I picked it up out of my bag.  
>"Hello?" I answered<p>

"Clarissa, come back inside the signing is about to start." My dad said calmly through the speaker.

"Ok I'll be right there." I answered and hung up the phone.

"Um I have to go, but thanks for the lighter." I said standing up; the blonde boy grabbed my hand.

"Clarissa? Can I get your number?" he asked handing me his phone.

"Sure" I grabbed his phone and put my number into his phone, and handed it back to him.

"I hope I see you again, and good luck with your gallery." He said standing up, he leaned forward a little bit and pressed his lips to my cheek.

I could feel my cheeks start to burn up, hoping he hasn't noticed, he pulled back and smiled.

"I'll text you." He winked at me and walked inside. I was left outside blushing and holding my hand to my cheek.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head trying to shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I walked over to the door and walk into the building. I saw people walking up the stairs towards the signing room; I followed the rest of the group of people up the stairs. Everyone hurdled into the signing room, and everyone took their seats. I found a spot next to my dad who gave me a concerned look.

"Are you ok? Clarissa, just ignore her she doesn't know what she's talking about." He said grabbing my hand and giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"Just forget it ok? I just want to get this bull shit over and done with so we can go home." I said looking back at him with a scowl.

"I know, I'm anxious to get home to." He said and let go of my hand and stared straight at the stage.

A man came across the stage with a microphone and began speaking.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for coming out tonight! So put your hands together for Alec Lightwood!" The announcer yelled into the microphone.

A ravened hair boy ran across the stage and started smiling and waving at the crowd.

"Isabelle Lightwood!"

The black haired girl from earlier walked across the stage blowing kisses to the crowd and stopped right next to Alec.

"Jonathan Fray!" The announcer yelled and my brother walked across the stage waving at everyone and smiling towards Alec and Isabelle, he wrapped his arm around Isabelle's waist and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"And Last but never least, give it up for Jace Herondale!" The crowd started to scream, I placed my hands to my ears trying to muffle the screams, and to prevent a headache.

Then the blonde golden eye boy walked across the stage, waving at everyone. I felt my heart start to skip a beat. 'Holy shit! He's in Jonathan's band?!'

The announcer handed all them a microphone, and the all sat down at a little table on the stage.

"Ok folks they are going to answer some questions from the crowd and then they'll begin signing." The announcer says then points at a girl in the crowd only a few seats away from me.

"This question is for Jace." She paused and blew a kiss at Jace. "Is there a special girl in your life?" She asked, everyone in the crowd looked from the girl to Jace.

"Well actually I think there is, sadly she doesn't live here, I kind of just got her number." He answered looking at the girl in the crowd. There was an 'Ah' that escaped the crowds' mouths. My heart started to pound, 'I just gave hi my number! Is he talking about me?'

"Ok next question" the announcer said and pointing at another girl.

"Jonathan, why do you look so happy tonight?" A girl said to my brother.

"Well tonight my dad and sister traveled from Chicago to come support me. I haven't seen my sister in 4 years, and I'm anxious to see her. " He said looking over at our mother.

"Well why don't we get your sister to come up on stage?" The announcer asked the crowd. My heart dropped, the crowds scream 'YES!' And I looked at my dad whose eyes were widened.

"Sure why not, Clarissa if you're out in the crowd, come up here." Jonathan said. I looked at the stage and my eyes landed on Jace, who had his head in his hands. I shrugged my shoulders, I looked at my dad again and he shook his head with a smile.

I stood up and a light shined down on me and I began to walk towards the stage. Behind me men start to cat call at me and wolf whistle. I reached the stairs that led to the stage; I walked up the stairs and onto the stage.

Once I had one foot on the stage I had the wind knocked out of me when I felt arms wrap around me and pick me up off the ground.

"Oh my god! Put me down!" I shrieked, and flailed my legs in the air, closing my eyes praying that my feet would touch the ground.

My feet finally touched the stage, feeling dizzy I went to reach for something to hold my balance. Hands grabbed my elbows to steady me, I heard the crowd cheering. I opened my eyes and saw my smiling brother looking at me.

"Clary! I missed you!" He said and grabbed my hand.

"It's Clarissa." I muttered. The announcer handed me a micro phone and placed a stool next to the table where everyone else was sitting. I looked at the rest of the band members who were staring at me with 'awe'. I looked at Jace whose mouth was wide open and his eyes widen making his skin look pale.

I sat on the chair next to the table; I took off my jean jacket and handed it to one of the people standing on the side of the stage. You could see my lower back tattoos and my arm tattoos.

"Hey SEXY!" one guy screamed from the crowd, and then a bunch of men started to whistle at me. I felt my cheeks start to burn as I adjusted myself on the stool, I looked over at Jonathan who was saying something to Jace. Jace's eyes widen as he stared at me, while Jonathan whispered into his ear. Jace and I eyes were locked on each other, when the announcer walked up next to me, is when I looked away.

"Ok so ladies and gentlemen, if anybody had questions for Jonathans sister please speak up." The announcer said and looked at me.

"What's your name?" Someone shouted.

"Clarissa Morgenstern." I answered.

"How old are you?"

"20, but I'll be 21 next month." I answered with excitement.

"You got a boyfriend Hot Stuff?" a guy in the front said, and I rolled my eyes.

"It's Clarissa, not Hot Stuff. You call me Clarissa or you call me nothing. And no I don't have a boyfriend; I'm too busy for one." Everyone started to laugh.

"Why do you and your brother have different last names?"

"He kept my mothers, I kept my fathers." I answered coldly and looked at my mother who stood on the side of the stage eyeing my tattoos from afar.

"What do you do?"

"I paint and sing, I own my very own Art Gallery in Chicago." I answered proudly.

"SING! SING!" the crowd started to cheer. I looked at Jonathan with widen eyes.

"come on Clarissa we'll play back up for you. It'll be fun." Jonathan said standing up with the rest of the band, grabbing their instruments from back stage. The announcer grabbed my stool and gave me a new microphone.

Once Jonathan, Jace, Isabelle, and Alec we're set up I stood in front of the stage starring at the sea of fans.

* * *

><p>Party girls don't get hurt<br>can't feel anything, when will I learn?  
>I push it down, push it down<p>

I'm the one "for a good time call"  
>Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell<br>I feel the love, feel the love

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink  
>1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink<br>1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
>I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist<br>Like it doesn't exist  
>I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry<br>I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes  
>Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes  
>Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>On for tonight

Sun is up, I'm a mess  
>Gotta get out now, gotta run from this<br>Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink  
>1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink<br>1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier  
>I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist<br>Like it doesn't exist  
>I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry<br>I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes  
>Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes  
>Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>On for tonight

On for tonight  
>'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight  
>On for tonight<br>On for tonight  
>'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight<br>'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight  
>Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight<br>On for tonight  
>On for tonight<p>

* * *

><p>Once I finished I was breathless, all I could do was smile. Jonathan came up beside me and wrapped me into a hug.<br>"Clarissa I didn't know you could sing like that." He whispered into me ear.

"There are a lot of things that have changed Jon." I answered and pulled away from him.

I pulled the microphone to my mouth.

"Ok well I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air, and you guys start your signing thingy."

I smiled at the crowd and then walked over towards the side of the stage. My mom went to wrap her arms around me; I pushed past her and grabbed my jean jacket.

"Clarissa!" She yelled after me I pushed the back door opened and felt the cold air cute through me clothes like a knife.

"Why do you do this?" My mom said following me out the door.

"Do what?" I asked sitting down on the bench.

"You ignore me, and then we fight." She says and sits down next to me, I shift away from her a little bit.

"Well it's just been me and dad for the past 4 years; I'm not used to someone breathing down my neck." I stated and she scoffed.

"Well it's not my fault your father won't be a father to you."

"What? Won't be father? He has been my mother and father for the past 4 years, and he's been doing a pretty damn good job. Stopping making him sound like he doesn't give a shit about me." I said standing up, and walking over to the wall.

"Clarissa look at you, from what I can see you have 5 tattoos, piercing, you smoke, and you cuss. What kind of father would let their child do those things? From my perspective he's doing a shitty job."

"From your perspective? How the fuck would you know? For the past 4 years, all I've ever gotten from you is a birthday card. That man encouraged me to take my talent and turn it into something bigger, I own a gallery, I have a job, I am financially fine! What does Jonathan have? A band? Valentine has raised me from a little girl who used to cry about everything, to a woman who can take care of herself." I sighed and grabbed a cigarette out of my purse.

"Clarissa, I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you like this. Tattooed, pierced, half dressed. Then I hear you're modeling, in underwear. I just get so over whelmed I explode."

"Well if you would call once in a while you would know what's going on in my life." I muttered lighting the cigarette. I inhaled and exhaled, "I don't want to do this, and this isn't my world."  
>I whispered and leaned my head back against the wall.<p>

"I'm sorry sweet heart. I didn't mean what I said, let's just try and get through this night. Ok?" My mom said and walked up to me, and wrapped her arms around me.

"Alright, I'm going to go get dad." I said trying to get out of her grasp, she let go and smiled. I smiled and walked back into the building.

* * *

><p>I found my seat next to dad and plopped down next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder.<p>

"I want to go home." I whispered.

"Come on lets go." He said standing and grabbing my hand.

"I'm going to go find Jonathan and say goodbye." I said and let go of his hand, I walked through the crowd to try and find Jonathan. I finally found him with a group of girls, swarmed around him.

"Jonathan!" I yelled at him, he looked up from the girls and smiled at me. He walked over towards me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey Jon, I hate to do this but dad and I have to go. I have to be at the gallery early In the morning tomorrow." I smiled sadly at him, his smiled turned into a frown and looked away.

"Clarissa why don't you just spend the night in town, missing one day of work is not going to kill you. You can stay with at my place to night, it's only me and Jace but there's and extra bedroom." He begged I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't see why not, but I have to leave tomorrow." I answered.

"Yes! Wait here I'm gonna go tell Jace." He ran way like a little school girl.

I walked away from that spot and went to go tell dad the news. He was standing next to my mom and Luke.

"So I guess I'm spending the night at Jon's apartment" I tell my dad who looks down at me.

"What? Clarissa we have to go home, you have to finish your paintings." He says.

"I can finish them when I get home tomorrow. I promise." I said and leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Ok well I love you sweet heart, text me when you get there." He wrapped me into a hug.

"Text me when you land, please be safe." I whispered in his jacket.

"Bye sweet heart." He said letting go of me and headed towards the exit. I sighed and looked at my mom and Luke who both had excitement in their eyes.

"Oh its going to be a long night." I sighed and walked back over towards Mom and Luke.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Clarissa darling, you might want to go ask Isabelle for some clothes. You need something to sleep in." My mother said as I walked back over to her and Luke.

"I have something to sleep." I answered starring off at the crowd that was slowly making their way towards the exit.

"Oh, you brought extra clothes?" My mother asked leaning on Luke's shoulder.

"No." I answered. My mom shot her eyes open and gave me a questioning look.

"Then what will you sleep in?" She asked.

"My bra and underwear." I answered and look back at her. Luke cleared his throat and looked away from me.

"Well, that is my cue to go find the band." Luke said and leaned down and kissed my mom on the head and walked away into the crowd.

"Clarissa was that necessary?" My mom said crossing her arms over her chest.

"What you asked. I'm not going to lie to you." I answered plainly.

"I'll get you a large t-shirt for you to sleep in." She said and walked off.

'_Ding, Ding'_

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and looked at the text message on the screen.

'_Meet me out side in 5 mins –J' _

'Who is J?' I thought to myself and looked around to see if anyone was near me. I sighed and put my phone in my pocket and walked outside, the cold air cut through my body like an ax cutting wood.

I began to shiver not realizing that it was going to be this cold. I felt a warm fabric land on my shoulders, I jump when I feel hands pat my shoulders. I turned around to see Jace standing behind me smiling down at me. I felt a wave of relief go over me; I sighed and smiled back at him.

"You didn't tell me you're the sister of my best friend." He said and grabbed my hand pulling me towards a bench.

"You never asked, and if I'm correct you never mentioned your name to me." I said looking down at our hands that were still intertwined.

"My apologies, where are my manners. Jace Herondale." He said and shook my hand.

"Clarissa Morgenstern." I said in return.

"I was little bit surprised when I found out my mystery girl was my best friends sister." He said and let go of my hand.

"Well I was a little surprised when I saw you walk across that stage. I thought you were a security guard or something." He chuckled and placed a hand on his chest.

"Me a security guard? I'm honestly hurt Clarissa." He said and starts laughing.

"Well what did you think I was?" I asked

"I was hoping you were a die heart fan looking for me, but when you said you were looking for you brother, I thought you were some little 10 year old kids sister or something like that. Then you came on stage." He said and put his head in his hands, and raked his fingers through his hair.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you." I said abruptly and stood up. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me closer to him, he stood up and our faces were inches apart. I could feel his warm breath on my cold skin, my heart start to race; I could feel my cheeks begin to burn again.

"You didn't disappoint me, you surprised me. Not many people can surprise me." He whispered. His words sent shivers down my spine making me gasp.

He leaned forward, and the next thing I knew our lips crashed down on each other. Jace wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, our lips moved together in sync.

I pulled away from him for air, I stepped back realizing what just happened.

"Clarissa, what's wrong?" He asked with concern.

"Nothing it's just, it's been awhile since I last kissed someone." I sadly and looked down at the ground embarrassed. He stepped closer to me and clipped my chin; he looked down at me and kissed my forehead.

"You might want to go back inside before someone starts to worry about you." He whispers and lets me go. I walk towards the door, and look back Jace who's still standing there staring back at me.

I was standing next to my mom, watching her talk to Luke they were talking about Jonathans band tour. They were talking about when they stop and what day the stop, and stuff like that. I couldn't focus on their conversation; all I could think about was Jace, the way his lips felt on mine. How his hands traveled up my back, and how his breath sent shivers down my spine.

"Clarissa are you ok?" Luke said giving me a concern look.

"Yes I'm fine. Just a little tired, it's been a long day." I answered snapping myself out of my day dreaming.

"Luke sweetheart what time is it?" My mom asked while grabbing a bunch of merchandise off the table.

"Its 11:30." He said grabbing the stuff out of my mom's hands.

She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek; I rolled my eyes and looked around the room.

"Wait its 11:30? Then dad should be home by now. I'm going to call him to check on him." I said and grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

"Clarissa I'm sure he's fine, he probably forgot to call." She said

"No he would 'forget' to call me." I said angrily.

I dialed his number in my phone and pressed call.

"Hello, you have reached my voice mail. I'm busy at the moment, please leave a message at the beep, and I will get back to you." His voice traveled through my speaker.

"Hey, dad its Clarissa... Please call me when you get this. I love you." I said and hung up the phone.

I scrolled through my contacts till I found Edwards number. I pressed call and held the phone to my ear.

"Hello? This is Edward." He said

"Edward its Clarissa, did you pick up my father?" I asked

"Oh Miss. Clarissa, I haven't picked up your father yet, his pane hasn't come yet." He said and my heart dropped.

"What do you mean his plane hasn't landed yet, her left 3 hours ago? Give me Raphael's number please." I ordered into the phone, my mother gave me a concerned look and placed a hand on my shoulder.

Edward gave me the number for the pilot, and I hung up the phone and dial Raphael's number.

"Hello?" Raphael answered

"Raphael, It's Clarissa Morgenstern. I wanted to know why hasn't your plane landed in Chicago yet?" I asked.

"Um, ma'am your father never showed up to the airport." He said.

"What?"

"he hasn't showed up ma'am." My heart dropped into my stomach making feel like I was going to throw up. Tears started to swell in my eyes, I pulled away from my mom.

"Clarissa what is it?" She asked

"He.. He didn't show up at the airport."

I pulled the phone back to my ear. "Raphael?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Get the jet ready, I'm on my way."I said into the phone and hung up my phone.

"Clarissa, you have to stay here tonight." My mom said. "He'll be okay, he's a grown man."

"No you don't understand." I said and walked towards the doors.

My mom grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Clarissa, stay here! He'll be fine."

"No!" I yelled "Now let go of me, so I can go home." I stated yanking my wrist out of her grip.

Just I started to make my way to the door when I heard Jonathan call my name.

"Clarissa? Where are you going?" he asked, I sighed and looked back at him, seeing Jace right beside him.

"I have to go take care of something, maybe the next time I'm in town I'll stay. I'm really sorry but I have to go." I said and pushed open the door.

"Clarissa, wait let me give you a ride to the airport." Jonathan said coming up behind me.

"Jon, thanks but I can get a taxi, you're probably exhausted just go home I'll be fine. I promise" I said pulling Jonathan into a hug. He was more masculine then 4 years ago, his eyes were blacker, his hair was still snow white. I never realized how much I missed him until now, but I still have to let go. Do I?

I heard Jonathan sigh and let go of me, he looked down at me and smiled. "You were right; you're not the same little girl you use to be." Jonathan bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Be safe please?" He said and whistled for a taxi.

A taxi pulled up to the curb and Jonathan opened the door for me, I slid in and shut the door. I rolled down the window to look at Jonathan and stuck out my pinky.

"I pinky promise." I answered. Jonathan locked his pinky with mine and laughed. The taxi lurched forward and drove away; I turned around and looked back at Jonathan who was still waving from the curb.

The taxi pulled up in front of the airport, and I hoped out of the car. Raphael was standing by the front doors puffing on a cigarette. He threw the cigarette on the ground when he saw my walking up to him.

"Raphael I have to get home now." I said pushing past him and into the airport. I walked past the security, through the food court, and past the guards. Once we walked out to the plane, my body began to shake. 'Where was he? Why wasn't he here already?'

I felt like I was going to be sick, I walked up the steps and into the plane. I found my seat and told the flight attendant to tell Raphael to leave. The plane's engine started to groan, the wheels began to carry us down the run way. We lurched forwards; I felt the gravity hit my chest, my ears popped.

The rest of the plane ride was full of silence and anxiousness. I would check my phone every 5 minutes, praying he would text or call me, but he didn't.

Once we landed, Edward met me outside the airport I walked over to the car and opened the door and got in.

I pulled my phone out and dialed Jonathan.

"Hello?" Jonathan answered sounding groggy.

"Jon, its Clarissa I made it home, I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry if I woke you up." I said looking out the window.

"No its fine, Jace and I were just watching tonight's performance. Are you okay? How's Valentine? Is he okay?" He asked

"I just landed; he hasn't been answering my texts or calls."

"Ok, just stay calm. I'm sure he's fine; call me when you get information okay?" He asked into the phone.

"Okay, good morning Jonathan." I said and hung up the phone.

I leaned my head against the window and watched as the city streets started to disappear. We pulled up to our house; I leaped out of the car and ran to the front door. I pushed my key into the lock and unlocked the door; I flung the front door open and felt the warm air push past me to meet the cold air from outside.

"Dad?!" I yelled as I walked through the house. "Dad?!" I yelled repeatedly through every room.

He wasn't home…

'Where is he? Please don't tell me he's still in New York... I'll kill him.'

I walked into my bedroom, and decided to get a shower. I walked into my bathroom and hit play on my stereo, and Jonathan's band blared through the speakers.

_Alabama, Arkansas,  
>I do love my Ma and Pa<br>Not the way that I do love you_

_Well, holy moly me oh my  
>You're the apple of my eye<br>Girl, I've never loved one like you_

_Man, oh, man, you're my best friend  
>I scream it to the nothingness<br>There ain't nothing that I need_

_Well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie  
>Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ<br>Ain't nothing please me more than you_

_Home, let me come home  
>Home is wherever I'm with you<br>Home, let me come home  
>Home is wherever I'm with you<em>

_La la la la  
>Take me home<br>Mama, I'm coming home_

_I'll follow you into the park,  
>Through the jungle, through the dark<br>Girl, I've never loved one like you_

_Moats and boats, and waterfalls,  
>Alleyways, and payphone calls<br>I been everywhere with you (that's true)_

_Laugh until we think we'll die,  
>Barefoot on a summer night<br>Never could be sweeter than with you_

_And in the streets you run afree,  
>Like it's only you and me,<br>Geez, you're something to see._

_La la la la  
>Take me home<br>Mama, I'm coming home_

_‒ Jade?  
>‒ Alexander?<br>‒ Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?  
>‒ I sure do‒you came jumping out after me.<br>‒ Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, and you were bleeding all over the place, and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?  
>‒ Yes, I do.<br>‒ Well, there's something I never told you about that night.  
>‒ What didn't you tell me?<br>‒ Well, while you were sitting in the back seat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you 'til just now!_

_Home, let me come home,  
>Home is wherever I'm with you<br>Our home, yes, I am home,  
>Home is when I'm alone with you<em>

_Alabama, Arkansas,  
>I do love my Ma and Pa<br>Moats and boats, and waterfalls,  
>Alleyways, and payphone calls<em>

_Home is when I'm alone with you!  
>Home is when I'm alone with you<em>

\ 

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

Once I was finished getting my shower, I got dressed in my pajama's, and buried myself into my bed. I clutched my phone in my hand hoping it would ring, or ding I looked at my window and I saw the sunlight start to stream out.

"Dad please call me, please be ok…" I stated and closed my eyes.

I could feel the exhaustion weigh on my eyes, it started to become hard to keep my eyes open. I closed my eyes in defeat, and fell into a deep sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

'_Ding! Ding'_

I opened my eyes and looked around the room, my head was pounding. It was dark +outside; I looked down at my phone which kept dinging.

'13 missed calls from Jonathan and Jocelyn'

"Shit.' I swore and picked up my cell phone and dialed my mom's phone.

After 2 rings she picked up.

"Hey mom I'm sorry, I was sleep-."I began but she interrupted me.

"Clarissa! Thank goodness you answered… You need to turn on the news. NOW!" she yelled into the phone.

"Mom calm down!" I yelled back.

"No Clarissa you need to turn on the news, its important."

"Okay, give me second." I sighed into the phone and grabbed my TV remote.

'_I'm Tessa Grey and this is New York News at 7'_

'_One car accident this morning, made New York traffic more slower than the usual. Around the time of 9:30 last night Valentine Morgenstern was one of the 2 people found dead at the scene of the accident. Police say he was on his way home, and the driver of the 2__nd__ car collided head on with Mr. Morgenstern's. _

_Valentine Morgenstern was spotted yesterday afternoon at his sons band signing. Valentine was there with his only daughter Clarissa Morgenstern, Clarissa Morgenstern was reported to leave the signing around 11:30 by herself. Valentine Morgenstern was reported leaving a local jewelry store right before the accident. Clarissa and Valentine Morgenstern both live in Chicago, the police presume that is where Clarissa Morgenstern is at now. _

_This is New York News at 7' _

"Clarissa? Please say something." My mother said into the phone.

"He's… gone?" I whispered into the phone, I could hear my mother sigh. A tear began to run down my face and to my neck until my pajama shirt was wet at the top.

"He… he cant be gone. Please! This isn't real I'm dreaming… tell me I'm dreaming." I whispered into the phone. I looked at the TV still watching the pictures from the night before flash across the screen, pictures of him and me laughing with each other."

"Clarissa, Jonathan and Jace are on their way to your house now. They should be there within the hour. Please stay put, don't go anywhere." She stated.

I fell to my knees, feeling my world fall apart.

'This cant be happening… he's not dead.' I thought to myself.

I began to sob on the floor, my body shook violently, I screamed angrily into the floor. I banged my fists and feet against the floor, I hit my head against the floor until my vision went blurry.

"NO! Please God no!" I screamed at the floor half- expecting someone to answer, but there wasn't one.

I stood up and walked out of my bedroom, and to my dad's bedroom. I pushed open the door, and walked through the threshold. I walked over to his bed and lied down; I splayed my body across the Egyptian cotton sheets.

I began to sob into the pillows, my mind was racing my heart was pumping; my breath was getting caught in my lungs.

"I should have left with him. It should have been me." I sobbed into the pillows. Hitting the bed with anger, I screamed and screamed until I saw black dots. I closed my eyes letting my mind replay last night, every word he said, and every look he gave me.

I sobbed into the pillow for a few more minutes, until I heard the door bell ding. I paused a minute, making sure it was actually the doorbell.

'_Ding'_

Again it rang.

I sighed and reached for the tissue box sitting on the night stand. I sat up and wiped my eyes, and blew my nose. I got off the bed and walked out of the room; I shut the door behind me and continued to the living room. I looked out the window and saw a truck parked in front of my house.

'Who is it?' I thought and walked to the front door. I pulled the door open to see Jonathan and Jace standing next to each other giving each other a worried expression. Jonathan turned around abruptly looking me up and down, then sighing and closing his eyes.

"Clarissa, mom sent us to check on you." Jonathan said opening his eyes and smiling at me.

"Well I don't see why she made you all travel so far for just me, see look I'm fine." I stated and twirled in front of the boys, waved them to come in.

"Clarissa I know you're not ok. You can talk to me about it." Jonathan said as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked looking from Jonathan to Jace who was standing in the corner starring at me.

"Clarissa we didn't come here to eat. We came here to make sure you were ok." He said looking at me with concern.

"I'm fine really, look see I'm still breathing." I said and took a deep breath.

"Clary, why are you being like this?" Jonathan said sitting down at the bar.

"Don't call me that." I hissed at him as I turned my back to them and walked over to the refrigerator. I sighed and place my head against the cold metal door. "No I'm not fine; I should have been with him."

"Clarissa he wouldn't want you to think that."

"How would you know?" I stated raising my head off the door and looking at my brother with a stern look. "How would you know Jonathan? Because god knows how many times you called us."

Jonathan sighed and shrugged his shoulders, he placed his head in his heads and raked his hands through his hair, and He shook his head and looked back at me.

"I'm sorry that wasn't fair, I haven't talked to you or mom that much easier. I'm just… I'm just mad, I'm sorry." I said and walked over to him, I put my head on his shoulder.

I stood up straight and patted his shoulder and I walked past him, I felt Jace's eyes following me all the way. I looked up at him and we were caught in a starring contest, as I walked out of the room I felt his eyes follow me all the way out to the hallway.

"Clarissa wait." I heard behind me as I walked up the stairs. I turned around and saw Jace at the bottom of the stair case.

"Yes?" I asked looking down at him.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked and walked up the stairs to me.

"Maybe later, I think I'm going to lie down." I said, he was so close now I placed my hand on his chest to reassure him. He starred into my eyes like he was starring into my soul.

"You know when you lie; you get a little 'v' right here between your eyebrows." He said hand placed his thumb between my eyebrows. I smiled a little embarrassed, feeling my cheeks burn I looked away trying to convert from his stare.

"Well sometimes lying is the only way to get rid of annoying people." I said and removed my hand from his chest. He cocked his blonde eyebrow at me, and gave me a daring smirk.

"So now I'm a bother? Especially when I do this?" He leaned closer so that our lips were on each other. He placed his hands on my hips and I snaked my arms around his neck, I locked my fingers in his golden locks. He snaked his tongue into my mouth, we fought each other for dominance. He pushed his hands lower onto my butt and squeezed a little, I moaned into his mouth, making him smile and pull back.

I looked back at him and gave him a devilish smile. "Especially when you do that." I said winking at him and walking up another step. He grabbed my hand and yanked me back, I fell backwards into his arms, and he bent his head down and kissed my forehead.

"One for the road." He whispered into my ear and let me go. I stood up and looked back at him; he smiled up at me and winked. He gracefully walked down the stairs, and headed towards the living room. I stood there and watched after him, hoping he would turn around and walk back up to me; I sighed and walked back into my bedroom.

I walked into my bedroom and leaned against the door. I looked around the room, thinking about Jace made my cheeks burn, realizing that I was blushing I rolled my eyes and walked over to the stereo and turned the knob.

'_I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted  
>I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted<br>And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine_

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?  
>When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?<em>

_Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?  
>If what we had was real, how could you be fine?<em>

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

_I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
>I remember the make-up running down your face<br>And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
>Like every single wish we ever made<br>I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
>And forget about the stupid little things<br>Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
>And the memories I never can escape<em>

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

_The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone  
>I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone<br>And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around_

_It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on  
>It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long<em>

_It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?  
>If what we had was real, how could you be fine?<em>

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

_I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
>I remember the make-up running down your face<br>And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
>Like every single wish we ever made<br>I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
>And forget about the stupid little things<br>Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
>And the memories I never can escape<em>

_If today I woke up with you right beside me  
>Like all of this was just some twisted dream<br>I'd hold you closer than I ever did before  
>And you'd never slip away<br>And you'd never hear me say_

_I remember the day you told me you were leaving  
>I remember the make-up running down your face<br>And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them  
>Like every single wish we ever made<br>I wish that I could wake up with amnesia  
>And forget about the stupid little things<br>Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you  
>And the memories I never can escape<em>

_'Cause I'm not fine at all  
>No, I'm really not fine at all<br>Tell me this is just a dream  
>'Cause I'm really not fine at all' <em>

As I listened to the lyrics tears began to travel down my cheeks, I sighed and wiped them away. I knew better than anyone that my dad wouldn't want me to cry over him. I closed my eyes and began to think about the day my mom left my dad.

'_Jocelyn? What do you mean you're leaving?' Valentine asked as he watched his wife throw a suit case on their bed. _

"_I'm leaving. What part of that don't you understand?" Jocelyn said as she placed her clothing and other belongings into the suit case. _

"_What about Jonathan? And Clarissa?" He asked walking closer to her. _

"_I'm taking them with me." She stated. _

_Saying she was going to take his children away from him made Valentine angry. She couldn't take away his children, who does she think she is?_

"_You're not taking my children away from me, and that's final." He said sternly trying not to think of his life without his children._

"_I can't leave them, I won't leave them." Jocelyn said as she zipped the bag shut, looking up at her husband with a face of anger. _

"_They are my children Jocelyn; you can't take them away from their father whenever you want to." He said sternly. _

"_I take one or I take both." She said crossing her arms over her chest. _

"_What? You can't split them up? Are you crazy, do you know what that will do to Clarissa?" _

"_Either I'm leaving with one of them, or I'm leaving with both." She said as she opened up the bedroom door, to see Clarissa standing in front of the door, pale as paper her eyes widen as if she's seen a ghost. _

"_Mom? You can't leave. Dad stop her!" Clarissa yelled at her parents who stood frozen in their places. _

"_Clarissa, get out of my way." Jocelyn said sternly. _

"_NOW!" Jocelyn yelled at Clarissa who had tears running down her face, and shook her head. _

"_Fine, leave but don't think I will go with you." Clarissa said as she walked over to her father, who pulled her into a hug. _

"_Well that settles it then, you get Clarissa and I get Jonathan." Jocelyn said and walked down the hallway. _

_Valentine felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He really didn't care that Jocelyn was leaving, but she was leaving with Jonathan. He looked down at his daughter who had tears running down her cheeks. He lifted up her chin and placed a kiss on her forehead "Don't ever cry for me like this ok?" Valentine asked and poked out his pinky. _

_Clarissa looked up at her father and smiled; she locked her pinky with his and buried her face into his shirt. They stood there long after they heard the front door slam shut, and the car drive down the street. All they had was each other; it was him and her against the world. _

I opened my eyes and blinked away the tears. Back then everything was so easy, it was just me and him. Now I'm all alone, it's just me against the world…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**A/N: ** **This chapter has mature content in it ;) So fair warning **

**~ForeverNicole~**

"Clarissa wake up." A masculine voice said while shaking my body.

"It's not time yet dad, give me 15 more minutes." I said back digging my body further under my covers. The voice sighed and sounded like he walked away.

"Clarissa I'm not your dad." He said and I realized who it was. Jace. I opened my eyes and at straight up. Not realizing that the blanket had fallen bellow my bra, I looked up at Jace who was blushing. He was blushing; I gave myself a mental pat on the back and smiled at him.

He cleared his throat and looked at the floor. "Um, you brother um, told me to wake you up." He muttered starring down at the floor.

"Ok thanks." I said and got out of bed, only in my bra and thong. I walked into my closet and grabbed clothing, and walked back out. I dropped the clothes on the bed and looked back at a scarlet red Jace, who was staring at me with his eyes widen.

"How many tattoos do you have?" He asked looking at the dream catcher on my ribs. Then he pointed at the Celtic knot that was on my shoulder.

"I have 8. My both sides of my ribs, shoulders, one finger, one foot, my neck, and my calf." I said holding up eight fingers. Jace's eyes widen and he blushed again.

"Do you want to see them?" I asked trying to sound as innocent as possible. He looked down at my partially naked body, "I do but I don't think that would be a good thing to do. Especially since you're jonathans sister." He said scratching the back of his neck while looking down at my feet.

"Suit yourself." I said and shrugged my shoulders. I pulled on a crop top and sweatpants, and walked towards the door. I felt arms wrap around my waist and turn me around. I looked back at Jace who was looking down at me with a smile.

"What are we?" He asked rubbing his nose against mine. I bit my lip, what were we?

"I don't know." I whispered.

He pressed my hands above my head and intertwined his fingers with mine. He bent forward and kissed my neck, making me gasp. He licked the side of my neck all the way to my chin, I moaned at the feeling. He pinned me up against the door, pressing his body into mine I could feel his heart beating through his chest. He bites down on my earlobe making me groan, I felt warmth between my legs, making me want him even more than before.

"Jace." I moaned into his cheek. He moved his hands so that his thumbs were looping the inside of my sweatpants. He started to slowly pull them down, making my body start to tingle.

"Clarissa, I want you so bad." He groaned and kissed my neck again.

"Take me then." I whispered into his ear. He stopped and looked at me, he smiled at me I could see the fire burning inside him.

His hands traveled up under my crop top and traveled to my back and played with the hook on my bra. He unhooked it and slowly pulled it off, now I was in a thong and a crop top.

His left hand started to knead my breast, making the fire in me ignite. I bit down on my lip to contain my moans; I bent my head backwards against the door. I looked back at Jace who was smiling at me when his hand left my breast he pulled my crop top over my head and flung it to a nearby corner.

Jace's eyes starred down at my chest; self consciously I wrapped my arms over them so he couldn't see them. He looked at me and rubbed his hand against my cheek and kissed my nose.

"Oh Clarissa can't you see that you are so beautiful?" He whispered and moved my arms away from my chest. His mouth attacked my right breast while his hand kneading my left one.

Sensation sweeps through my body; I tangle my fingers through his golden hair. His hand leaves my breast and travels down my lower abdomen, and towards my thong. Jace moves his lips away from my breast, and plants them on my lips. My hands fist in his hair while my mouth is feverish against his, consuming him, relishing the feeling of his tongue against mine. He bites down on my lip and tugs at it, making me moan against his tongue. Jace's knee comes between my legs spreading them apart; he raises his knee so that it brushes right up against my sex. I moan loudly against him, wanting more, and more. Jace pulls back and looks at me, he smiles and loops his thumbs under the elastic in my under wear and pulls them down so they are at my feet, so I was completely naked underneath his body.

"Jace, I hate to interrupt you, but Jonathan will wonder where you are." I panted, Jace start to kiss my body from my neck to my stomach. He smiled as he kissed my belly button, then licked his was down the bottom of my stomach.

"Jonathan took your jet back to Chicago, to bring Isabelle. " He said and grabbed my thighs, spreading them further apart.

"Jace, we should move this, to the bed." I whispered looking down at him. He stood up and leaned his body against me; he twirled a piece of my hair between his fingers. Jace grabbed my arms and turned me around and walked us back to the bed. He pushes me back down onto the bed, pressing me into the mattress, as his mouth and hand move to my breast.

"Jace" I moaned loudly, tightening my hands in his hair. He removed his hand from my breast and traveled it down to my sex. He looked up at me with question; I nodded my praying he would continue.

Sliding his fingers against my sex, his breath hisses out as his fingers glide into me.

"Agh!" I cry out and push my pelvis up into the hell of his hand.

He glides his finger in and out and then adds another finger.

"Jace!" I cried out against his body.

He pulls out his fingers and looks down at me; he leans forward and places his elbows on each side of my head. He strokes his nose against mine, bearing his weight on his elbows, his hands holding mine by the side of my head.

"I think we should stop, before I can't stop myself." He whispered into my ear, I nodded my head

He leans down and plants a tender kiss on my lips and lifts himself off of me. He pulls me up with him and hands me my sweat pants.

I pull my clothes back on, and looked back at Jace. "You know, I've only known you for 2 days and that's the most anyone has gotten out of me before the first date." I said

"Well aren't I lucky?" He said wiggling his eyebrows at me. "But I was serious early, what are we?"

I shrugged me shoulders in response

"What do you want us to be?" I asked and he grabbed my hands.

"I don't know, its all confusing." He said and let go of me hand and headed towards the door.

* * *

><p>I walked into the kitchen and walked over to the refrigerator. Jace came into the kitchen and walked up behind me, grabbing my arm turning me around to face him. We stand starring at each other, drinking each other in, the atmosphere charging between us, almost cracking, neither saying anything, just looking.<p>

"I barely know you, yet I have these feelings for you that are unexplainable." He whispered.

I bite my lip as a desire for this man seizes me with a vengeance igniting my blood, shallowing my breath, pooling below my waist.

In a beat, he grabs me by my hips and pulls me too him, as my hands reached for his hair and his mouth claims me. He pushes me against the fridge, and I hear the vague protesting rattle of bottles and jars from within as his tongue finds mine. I moan into his mouth and one of his hands moves into my hair pulling my head back kissing me savagely.

"Do you want this?" He asked between kisses.

"Yes... yes."

Suddenly we hear the front door get pushed open.

"Jace!" A feminine voice shouted.

"Shit" Jace groaned and let me go. I looked up at him confused he mouthed the word 'Isabelle.' we pulled apart looking at the door way, expecting someone to come through it.

I nodded my head and watched him walk to the other corner. "In here Izzy."

I heard the 'click, click' of her shoes as she walked a crossed the hard wood floor, and into the kitchen. She looked from me to Jace, she be lined towards him and wrapped her arms around him, and whispered something into his ear.

"Shut up Izzy." He answered and pushed her away. I turned around and opened up the fridge and grabbed yogurt and orange juice.

"Well I thought I'd ask, nothing ever hurt in asking." She said and looked towards me.

I pulled out a spoon and a cup; I looked at Jace who was staring at me hungrily. He smiled at me and winked; I gave him a flirtatious smile and poured my juice.

"So Clarissa, how you holding up?" Izzy asked from the kitchen table.

"I'm fine." I stated and began eating my yogurt.

"Really? When our brother died it took me 3 years to grieve, I cried and cried-." She started

"Some people grieve different Isabelle, not everyone grieves the like you." Jace interrupted her.

"Well I was just saying, you know Jace you can be a real asshole." She said and picked up her phone.

"Anyway, Clarissa what are you gonna do?" Isabelle asked and looked up from her phone.

"Well, tomorrow I have training from 6:30 till 12:00, then I have to come home take a shower and then I have a photo shoot ." I answered and licked the spoon clean of yogurt.

"Oh you model? What kind of modeling? Clothing, feet, jewelry?" She said and poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"Lingerie." I stated and gulped down my orange juice.

Isabelle took a gulp of her orange juice then spit it out at my answer, spraying sticky orange juice all over the counter. I sighed and rolled my eyes, I looked back at her. She had wide eyes, and her mouth was open.

"Lingerie? Like underwear?" she asked and I nodded my head slowly.

"I get 200 dollars extra for every tattoo." I said placing my glass into the sink.

"Tattoos, how many do you have?"

"I have 8 right now but I'm probably going to get another one before my dad get cremated." I answered and looked at her and Jace who were both starring at me.

"Oh wow, that's a lot of money. I don't think Jonathan has any tattoos." Isabelle said looking down embarrassed.

"Wait how would you know If he had any tattoos?" Jace asked looking at Isabelle.

"Well you know..." she answered and started to play with her nails.

"You've kissed my brother?" I asked getting her attention, for a second her eyes widen as she nodded her head 'yes'

I shrugged my shoulders and looked from her to Jace. "That's okay; I've kissed yours." I answered and smiled at Isabelle who looked shocked.

"Jace? What is talking about?" She asked looking at Jace.

"Exactly what she said, I kissed her. "He answered and winked at me.

"Are you guys dating?" she asked and he looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.

I hopped off the counter and walked over to him; I grabbed his chin and pulled his face towards me. I planted my lips on his and snaked my tongue into his mouth, our tongues devoured each other for a few more seconds until I heard Jonathan clear his throat.

I pulled back and saw Jonathan standing next to Isabelle, who both had their eyes popping out of their heads, and their mouths opened wide. I smiled up at Jonathan and waved. "Does that answer your question Isabelle?" I said and pulled him into another kiss. We pulled away from each other when we heard some one clear their throat again.

" good morning Jonathan." I said and turned back to Jace and placed another kiss on his lips.

"No if you'll excuse me, I'm going for a swim." I said and walked past Jonathan and Isabelle. I stopped and placed a kiss on Jonathan's cheek. I headed up stairs to the pool, to go cool off for a while.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry it's a short chapter, ill try and make the next one a little longer. **

"Jace what the hell was that?" I asked Jace, who was standing there starring at the floor obviously embarrassed.

"Um Jon. Apparently Jace and Clarissa are together." Isabelle said looking back up at me.

"What? Jace I leave for five hours, and you think you can take advantage of my vulnerable sister?" I asked angrily. Jace looked back at me with an expression of hurt.

"Jon, I would never take advantage of her, I like her that's all."

"Jace you take advantage of everyone." Isabelle said walking over to the counter, then leaned up against it.

"Not Clarissa, she's different." He muttered.

"Yeah she is, our dad just died. She isn't herself right now." I said giving Jace a death glare.

He rolled his eyes, and put his head in his hands. He shook his head and muttered words under his breath.

A loud sound came from up stairs. "What the fuck was that?" The several bangs came after the sound.

I dropped the bags on the floor and ran upstairs, towards the sound. Jace and Isabelle were running after me with the same concern. We came to a glass door clouded with steam with lettering on the door. _'Pool' _

I pushed the glass door open and walked into a warm and humid room. Steam was everywhere, music was blaring, water was splashing and we couldn't see anything.

_When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place  
>When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place<em>

Paid that money, fake that dummy, ache my tummy  
>On the fence, all the time<br>Paid junk honey, face so sunny, ain't that funny  
>All my friends always lie to me<br>I know they're thinking

You're too mean, I don't like you, fuck you anyway  
>You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs<br>It hurts but I won't fight you  
>You suck anyway<br>You make me wanna die, right when I

When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place

_[x3]__  
>When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me<em>

Keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing, fight those demons  
>Sell your soul, not your whole self<br>If they see you when you're sleeping, make them leave it  
>And I can't even see if it's all there anymore so<p>

You're too mean, I don't like you, fuck you anyway  
>You make me wanna scream at the top of my lungs<br>It hurts but I won't fight you  
>You suck anyway<br>You make me wanna die, right when I

When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place

_[x3]__  
>When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me<em>

Being me can only mean  
>Feeling scared to breathe<br>If you leave me then I'll be afraid of everything  
>That makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down<br>Lets me face this, let me sleep, and when I wake up (I wake up, I wake up)  
>Let me be<p>

When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place

_[x3]__  
>When I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might end up being me <em>

I cupped my hands around my mouth. "CLARISSA!" I yelled into the cloud of thick steam.

The music stopped and the steam started to fade. I looked behind me looking at Jace and Isabelle who were looking around the room.

We walked a few more steps until I smelled cigarette smoke. "Clarissa where are you?" I yelled again looking all around, trying to find where the smoke was coming from.

"Over here!" We heard from the right.

All of a sudden the steam faded away, I looked forward again and saw Clarissa lying on a padded beach chair next to the pool.

She pressed another button and the music started to play again. It was so loud I couldn't hear myself think; I covered my ears with my hands trying to block the sound. I looked at my little sister who was lying in a bright red bikini, exposing her tattoos to the world. She sat up starring at us puffing on a cigarette.

She stood up and walked up to us. "What's wrong?" she asked and exhaled a puff of smoke.

"Nothing we heard a bang from in here, and I wanted to make sure you were okay." I said grabbing the cigarette out of her hand and tossing it in the pool. "Those are bad for you."

"Yes mom." She stated and walked back over to the chair, bent down and pulled out another cigarette. She lit the cigarette, breathed in and exhaled a perfect 'o' of smoke.

"They were all stacked up and I went to pull one down and they fell." She said and point over by the storage door where a pile of beach chairs lay on the floor.

"Do you all want to go for a swim? You and Jace can borrow pairs of Simon's trunks, he never comes around anymore, and Isabelle can borrow one of my old ones." She said and pointed at another door a crossed the pool that was labeled 'Simon's'

"Who is Simon?" Isabelle piped out.

"An old friend from when I was little. He use to live here for a while, then it got complicated and he left. Hasn't been back since." Clarissa said as she put her cigarette out in the ash tray. She undid her pony tail and tossed the rubber band to the side, she raked her fingers through her hair loosening it up.

"Well help yourselves." She said and walked over to the diving board. She jumped up and down on it twice and then she dived into the pool. When she resurfaced, she looked back at us and frowned.

"Take a picture it last longer." She said sarcastically and then started doing laps in the pool. I sighed and looked from the pool to Jace and Isabelle who were starring at Clarissa.

"Um, Jace why don't you stay here and keep an eye on my sister, make sure she's ok." I looked at Jace who just shook his head and went over to the pool and sat down on the beach chair.

"Isabelle will you come with me, I'd like to go explore the city, don't think Clarissa will want to come with us." I asked and reached my hand out to her and she took it, we walked out of the room listening to Clarissa who was making the water splash.

"I hope she's ok, she seems really nice." Isabelle said and leaned her head on my arm. I squeezed her hand and nodded my head.

"So do I… so do I." I answered and we walked out of the house.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After doing a few laps around the pool, I lifted myself out of the pool and walked over to the towel rack. I grabbed the remote the was sitting on the table and hit play.

_If I know one thing, that's true  
>It ain't what you say, it's what you do<br>And you don't say much, yeah, that's true  
>But I listen when you do<em>

_A thousand years go by  
>But love don't die<em>

_If I know one thing, that's true  
>It's that I'm never leaving you<br>And you don't say much, yeah, that's true  
>But I lose it when you do<em>

_Don't let them tell no lie  
>Love don't die<em>

_No matter where we go  
>Or even if we don't<br>And even if they try  
>They'll never take my body from your side<br>Love don't die_

_If there is one thing, that's true  
>It's not what I say, it's what I do<br>And I say too much, yeah, that's true  
>So just listen to what I do<em>

_A thousand years go by  
>But love don't die<em>

_No matter where we go  
>Or even if we don't<br>And even if they try  
>They'll never take my body from your side<br>Love don't die_

_She can break it up  
>She can burn it down<br>You can box it in  
>Bury it in the ground<br>You can close it off  
>And turn it away<br>Try to keep it down,  
>Six feet in the ground<em>

_But love don't die_

_No matter where we go  
>Or even if we don't<br>And even if they try  
>They'll never take my body from your side<br>Love don't die_

_No matter where we go  
>Or even if we don't<br>I'd like to watch them try  
>They'll never take my body from your side<br>Love don't die _

I started to dry myself off, when I heard someone laugh. I froze and turned around the see Jace sticking his feet into the pool, kicking water around. He was staring at me from across the pool, the way he was staring at me made me blush. I shook my at him and finished drying myself off. I dropped the towel on the rack and tossed my hair over my shoulder and walked over to the beach chairs. I felt Jace's eyes on me as I bent down and picked up a cigarette.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked sarcastically, glancing at him as I lit the cigarette.

"What?" He asked pulling his legs out of the pool and standing up and walking over to me.

"Well you keep starring at me, so you must want something." I said and exhaled some smoke in his face. He closed his eyes, and waved away the smoke.

"Actually I was starring at you because you're beautiful." He said and grabbed the cigarette out of my fingers.

"Hey that's mine." I said trying to reach for the cigarette. He put the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled. He dropped the cigarette on the floor, grabbed me by my arms and pulled me to him. I opened my mouth to say something when he planted his lips on mine and exhaled the smoke. The smoke filled my mouth to the point where I had to pull away, to blow it out.

As I blew out the smoke I looked up at Jace who was laughing at me. I playfully slapped him on the arm and turn away, I felt arms snake around my waist and pull me off the ground.

"Jace put me down." I laughed slapping his arms; he twirled me around in a circle then finally put me down. I put my hands to my face feeling my cheeks burn at my touch. I turned to see a smiling Jace looking down at me blushing as well.

"You're adorable when you smile." He said and placed his hand on my cheek.

"And you're adorable when you lie." I said placing my hand over his.

"I'm not lying. Your face is hot, maybe you should cool off." He said as he picked me up bridal style and walked us over to the edge of pool.

"Don't you dare." I hissed grabbing onto his jacket for dear life. I stared him in the eye; he gave me a mischievous look, I felt his arms loosen around me, I closed my eyes.

I felt my body falling; I squeezed my eyes tighter and held my breath. My back hit the water, it felt like I hit a concrete, I gasped for air as the water engulfed my body. I drifted to the bottom of the pool, I opened my eyes and could see Jace still standing on the ledge.

'Was this how my dad felt before he died?' I thought to myself still lying on the pool floor. I laid there until my chest began to hurt. I pressed my feet to the floor and pushed myself up; I swam up wards until my head was above the water.

I gasped for air and heard Jace laughing. "Oh thank god I thought you were dead." He extended his hand out to me; I grabbed it and pulled him in. I heard him gasp and then he was in the water, I let go of his hand and began to laugh; he resurfaced and splashed me with water.

"Oh thank god I thought you were dead." I said stinking my tongue at him. He swam over to me and grabbed my hips.

You could see his abs through his t-shirt; I placed my hand on his chest and looked him in the eye. He leans forward a bit, and places a kiss on my cheek.

"You're still a little warm Clarissa, you sure your alright?" he says and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Something in this water is making me burn up." I whispered as I blushed even more.

"Well I for one is very warm, maybe if I took off my shirt that might help." He said smiling at me and let go of me and took off his soaking wet t-shirt, and threw in over by the chairs.

My face turned scarlet as I stared at his magnificent body. He looked down at his stomach and shrugged.

"I'm still hot, maybe my pants too?" He asked. My cheeks were starting to burn. He undid his belt and pulled down his pants leaving him in his boxers.

He stepped closer to me, leaning against me I could feel his he radiate off of him, and onto me. He lifted his hand to my face again and brushed his fingers against my cheek.

"I think you might be sick, your burning up." He whispered. He bent down and placed his lips onto my forehead.

"Can you make me feel better?" I whispered looking into his eyes seeing his desire ignite.

"We'll have to see about that." He whispered and placed his hands on my cheeks.

His eyes are luminous with desire, firing the already heated blood that is pounding through my body. He leans forward and cups my chin, tilting my head back. His mouth hovers over mine, and closing his eyes, he runs a trail of kisses from the corner of my eye to the corner of my mouth. A small moan escapes my mouth as my insides melt and unfurl.

He groans a low sexy sound in the back of his throat that reverberates through me and his hand moves down my body to the top of my hip. Then suddenly he's kissing me, briefly our teeth clash, and then his tongue is in my mouth. Desire explodes like the Fourth of July throughout my body, and I kiss him back.

I wrap my legs around his waist as he wraps his arms around my back. He pushes us forcefully against the wall, I groan into our kiss.

I knot my fingers his hair, he groans and kisses my neck. He continues a trail of kisses from my neck down to my chest. He mores his hands to my neck and pulls the strings on my bikini. My straps falling letting my breast show. I fidget trying to cover myself up, but he tightens his arms around me.

"I want to see you." Bending, he plants a soft kiss on my parted lips. This time I deepen our kiss as my hands scratch his back, I feel his member rub against my stomach. He groans and pulls the strings of the back of my bikini making it come completely off.

Jace pulled his lips away from mine, making me want more. He bent his head down to my breasts and attacked them with his mouth. I moaned instantly to this feeling, I dug my nails into his back making him groan even loader the before.

He bit down on my breast making me explode; the fire between my legs grew hotter and hotter.

"Jace." I moaned into his shoulder. He pulled his knee up between my legs and started rubbing it against my sex. I closed my eyes, and bit down on my lip to contain my moan.

"Clarissa, I want you." He whispered against my neck.

"Then take me." I answered resting my head on his shoulder.

"I can't it wouldn't be right." He answered and looked at me. "I want to get to know you; I want to fall in love with you."

"Then what are we doing now?" I asked.

"Distracting each other." He said and smiled at me, he leaned down and kissed me in the forehead and let me go. I placed my feet back on the pool floor, and let go of Jace. I turned around to grab my bikini top, when he scoops my hair out of the way and kisses the back of my neck, sending delicious tingles down my spine.

He swims away and gets out of the pool; I tie my bikini top on and swim out of the pool. I walked up the stairs and walked over to the rack and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around my body and squeezed the water out of my hair. I walked over to the beach chairs and grabbed my cigarette pack, and walked towards the door. I looked back at Jace who was standing around the towel rack drying his hair.

"Put your wet clothes in the laundry chute, Charlotte will clean them." I said across the pool to him.

"Thanks, hey do you feel like going out when we get showered and dressed?" He asked looking at me with a wolfish smile.

"I'd love to; I'll show you around my town." I winked at him and pushed open the door.

I walked into my bathroom, and undressed myself. I could still feel Jace's lips on mine; I touched my face feeling my scarlet cheeks. He wants to fall in love with me. I smiled at myself through the mirror; I rolled my eyes at my girly reaction. I turned around and turned on the shower, and stepped under the scorching hot water.

After my shower was done, I got dressed in a warm sweater, white skinny jeans, and my black converses. I walked over to my vanity, picked up my curling iron and began curling my hair. I applied a little make-up trying to go for the natural look, satisfied by the way I looked. I got up and walked out of my bedroom, and down the stairs and into the living room.

Jace sat on the sofa with his legs crossed and he was doing something on his phone. When I walked in he stood straight up and smiled.

"Ready?" he asked extending out his hand for me to take. I grabbed his hand and shook my head.

"We can walk around; it's easy to get to the city from here." I said as we walked to the front door.

"Sounds good to me, you lead the way." He said and we walked out into the cold October weather. I shivered for a minute, and then he put his arm around me as we walked down the side walk.

We walked down the long side walk that led into the heart of Chicago. I showed him the museums, shops, restaurants, modeling agency, and many coffee joints. He held my hand the entire way, walking down street after street, I told him about the memories I had when I first started modeling, and when I first moved to Chicago, and when I painted my first canvas at the art institute.

"You must show me your paintings one day." He said and pulled me closer to him. I nodded my head as we walked down another street. Jace phone started to ring.

"Hello?" Jace answered.

"No, Jon what are you talking about?"

"Yes, I'm with her. Wait how did you know?"

"Damn paparazzi. Yeah I understand we're on our way back now." He said and hung up his phone.

I looked at him with concern as we stood frozen on the side walk looking at each other.

"I really hate to end this, but Jon says that we are on the news. So he thinks it's best if we return home." He said and cupped my face with his hand; I leaned forward so our lips were pressed together. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as his snaked around my waist pulling my closer to him.

'Click click'

We heard behind us, we pulled apart to see a group of paparazzi taking pictures of us. I looked back at him with a worried frown.

"What are they doing?" I asked as he grabbed my hand and walked us back down the sidewalk, heading home.

"They're taking of our picture, so they can put us on their magazines." He said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder; I wrapped my arm around his back.

"Oh well at least I'll look happy." I said and smiled up at him. He pulled out his phone and clicked on a picture Jonathan sent him.

It was picture of Jace and I at the signing kissing outside, and another picture of walking in the city today. The caption above the picture read. _'Jace Herondale's newest fling.' _

"Fling?" I asked handing him back his cell phone. He nodded his head and began to speak.

"That's why I didn't want to have sex with you today; I haven't had the best record with women. They either want me for the money, or the fame. When I broke up with them, they go to the reporters and make up stories, which make me look like a douche bag." He said and looked down at me, and pressed a kiss to my forehead I smiled up at him and leaned my head against his chest.

"But you're different, you make me feel alive." He let go of my shoulder and stopped, he grabbed my arms and pulled me into a hug. I nuzzled my cheek into his chest, breathing in his scent. I loosened his grip and leaned down and kissed me, it was a gentle, tender kiss.

"I like being your 'new fling'." I whispered. He smiled at me and we continued to walk home.

"I like you being my 'new fling' too." He pressed a kiss into my hair.

Walking home I began to think of how my dad would react to me dating Jace, I mean we weren't really dating, wait were we? Would my dad be happy for me? Of course he would be happy for you, he always is… was I mean.

The whole walk home was silent as my subconscious beat me up with these thoughts. When we finally reached home, I was exhausted I could barely feel my legs. My whole body was cold, the wind cut through my sweater, sending sharp tingles through my bones making my body hurt. The only part of my body that wasn't cold was my hand, which was firmly in Jace's grip.

I looked down at my hand and smiled to myself. Jace's words played rerun through my head. 'You make me feel alive.' 'I want to fall in love with you.' I sighed once we reached the front door, and pushed it opened. We let go of each other's hand and walked into the kitchen, where Jonathan and Isabelle were cooking dinner.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked looking at Jonathan who was chopping something up.

"We are making dinner for all of us." He said smiling at me and then frowning when he glanced at Jace.

"You realize that we have a cook for that right?" I asked walking over to the fridge. I opened the door and pulled out a Mike's hard lemonade out. I screwed off the top and gulped half of it down. A hand grabbed the bottle and yanked it out of my grasp.

"What the hell?" I yelled looking at Jonathan who had my drink in his hand.

"Clarissa, you shouldn't drink. " He said sternly.

"Yeah I shouldn't drink, smoke, get tattoos, have piercings, or have sex. But I do it's who I am, now give me back my fucking drink." I yelled and extended my hand towards Jonathan who looked at me dumbfounded.

"Sex? Clarissa you…you had sex?" He stuttered trying to form the words.

"Jesus, Jonathan I'm a 21 year old model. Of course I've had sex, I'm not you I didn't go to church every Sunday and confess my sins to god. That probably why he took my dad away from me, because I'm a selfish person and god realized how much my father meant to me and as punishment for not going to church and confessing my sins god took him away. Karmas a bitch huh?" I said and yanked the bottle out of his hand and walked back to the fridge and grabbed the whole pack and walked out of the kitchen. Not realizing that I was crying, I walked up the stairs.

"Clarissa wait! I didn't mean that I was just shocked, the last time I saw you, you were 16 and innocent." Jonathan said from the bottom of the step.

"People change Jonny, everyone changes." I whispered down at him. He walked up the stairs and pulled me into a hug. He rubbed my back and shushed me as I sobbed into his shoulder.

"God should have taken me, not him. Do you know how excited he was to see you at your signing? He kept talking about it all week; he wouldn't shut up about it." I said and sobbed even more.

"I was me and him against the world, now I'm by myself. " I whispered into his shoulder actually realizing that everything was going to change. With the thought of change in my mind, I sobbed even louder.

I pulled back and sat down on the step; Jonathan squatted in front of me and looked at me.

"I don't think I can do this Jon, I can't live by myself." I whispered softly. He placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead.

"Can't you see that you're not alone? You have me, mom, Isabelle, Jace, mom, and even Luke." He said and sat next to me.

"Jon… I think I like Jace." I whispered and looked at him, he pulled my down so that I was leaning on his shoulder.

"I know, I just don't want to see you get hurt." He said and brushed his hands over my hair.

"He won't hurt me Jon. Trust me." I whispered and closed my eyes. I wiped away the tears that were left on my face; I leaned up and fix my sweater that was getting caught on my belly button piercing. I laughed as I watched Jonathan look down at it.

I stood up and grabbed my half drank bottle and downed it. I reached my hand down to Jon who grabbed it and pulled himself up.

"Come on I'm hungry, feed me some food." I said and placed a hand over my stomach. Jonathan laughed and we walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

Isabelle watched us as we walked in; I looked at her and smiled. I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, and wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back.

"You not alone Clarissa, remember that." She whispered into my ear.

"Thank you." I answered and let go of her. I placed the bottle on the counter and walked over to Jace who gave me a sad smile. I stood in front of him, starring into his eyes. I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face down so his lips met mine. My lips tasted like salty tears, but apparently he didn't mind because he wrapped his arms around my waist as I deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and twirled his gold strands between my fingers. We pulled apart to catch air; he starred at me with desire. I smiled up at me and wiggled my nose against his, which made him smiled.

Jace pulled me into a hug, and laid his head on top of mine. He rubbed circles into my rub and swayed us back and forth trying to soothe me; I looked up and smiled at him with gratefulness.

After we all at dinner we sat in front of the TV and watched a movie called V for Vendetta. While watching the movie my eyes started to become heavy, I tried to fight this sleep. I was lying in front of Jace on the long couch; I laid my head down on his arm and shut my eyes. I felt him reach over me and place a kiss on my cheek.

After another few minutes, I finally let the darkness consume me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sunlight streamed through my bedroom curtains, lying on my face warming my body. I opened my eyes and looked around the room, Jace or Jonathan must have moved me to my bedroom. I rolled over to my night stand where my phone was lying. I grabbed it off the table and clicked it on, 5:30 am; I groaned and rolled off my bed. I got up and walked to my closet, I pulled out my bleached skinny jeans that had holes in the knees, and my one of my painting paint shirts. I grabbed my moccasins and pulled my knotty hair into a messy bun.

I walked into the bathroom, to brush my teeth when my phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I answered

"Clare, its Maia. Can you come to the gallery and finish you piece, we're trying to figure out where its gonna go." Maia my gallery manager said into the phone.

"Yeah I'll be there in 20." I said and hung up the phone. I kicked off my moccasins and pulled on my combat boots, and pulled on my leather jacket. I walked out of my room and down the stairs where I heard snoring coming from the living room. I stood in the door way of the living room, looking at a sleeping Jace, face down in the couch. I laughed to myself and walked past the couch and into the kitchen, where my keys were.

I grabbed a sticky note, and wrote down that I'll be back later. Grabbed my keys and headed out the garage door. I pushed the garage door button, and walked over to my Harley.

I slid the keys in the ignition, and throttled the engine making it roar, pretty positive it would wake everyone up inside. I sat down and hit the gas, and sped down the drive way and onto the street.

When I got to the gallery, Maia was standing outside waiting for me. I shut off the engine and put the keys and my pocket; I swung my leg off the bike and walked over to the brunette.

"Hey babe, how you holding up?" She asked and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm fine, how about you?" I asked as I held the door open for us. I pulled my jacket off and hung it up on the coat hanger, and kicked off my boots.

"I'm good, a little anxious for the opening next week." She smiled and handed me a coffee. I smiled at her and nodded.

"Yeah, me too I'm probably going to have my brother and his band mates with me at it." I said and she cocked her eye brow at me.

"Mhmm… I kind of figured that when the news caught you making out with the lead singer yesterday." She said and winked at me, making me roll my eyes.

"He's really nice, sweet, and hot. I like him, a lot." I said making her giggle.

"By the looks of the picture he likes you a lot to." She started to burst out laughing and showed me her phone that had our picture on it from yesterday. I put my hands over my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm gonna go paint, Ill resurface in a few hours. " I winked at her and walked down the hallway, and up to my work room. I shut the door and locked it behind me, I pressed play on the stereo and music started to blare from my speakers that were lying all around the room.

I walked over to my work bench where my painting was lying; I looked at it for several minutes trying to figure out what I was going to do to it. I shook my head and picked up the painting and chucked it across the room. I shook my head and picked up a brand new canvas, laid it on the easel and grabbed my paints.

I crack my neck and stretched out my wrists, I turned the music up even louder. I closed my eyes trying to picture what I wanted to draw, nothing came. I dipped the paint brush in the black oil paint and started painting.

After my playlist went through itself 5 times, and my wrists were so cramped I could barely roll them. I placed down my paint brushed and stepped back and closed my eyes. I rolled my neck and took a few deep breaths. I opened my eyes and looked at my painting…

It was a picture of a man holding his daughter in his arms, in a bedroom. They were sitting on the floor, he held her as she cried. I looked at it again realizing that I painted my dad and I when my mom left, my breath got caught in my throat, I felt my face go pale. I pressed paused on the music, and walked out the door to leave.

Maia was standing out in the lobby when I ran over to grab my coat and shoes.

"Hey what's wrong?" She asked rushing over to me, not realizing that I was crying.

"Nothing, I have to get home." I said and walked past her and walked out the door.

I ran out to my bike and slid the key into the ignition, and pressed hard on the gas. Speeding away down the street, I couldn't concentrate my mind was speeding, I shook my head trying to get my dad out of my head, but I couldn't shake him. I slowed down the bike when I came onto my street, I drove the bike up the drive way and parked it in front of the garage. I closed my eyes and placed my head down on the handle bars.

'Why did I paint that?' the question kept running through my mind, but I couldn't answer it. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time, 9:45. I sighed and swung my leg off the bike, and walked to the front door.

I opened the front door, and the smell of burnt pancakes filled my nose. I cringed my nose and headed towards the kitchen, where smoke was forming. I stood in the door frame starring at Isabelle trying to flip a pancake, and Jonathan trying to help her.

"You guys realize that I do have a cook right." I said and pointed at the button on the wall that said 'Henry'. Isabelle jumped and accidentally dropped the pan on the floor; she cursed and looked at me.

"Shit you scarred me." She said and picked up the pan and placed it in the sink. I walked over to the button and hit the button, I minute later Henry showed up.

"Yes ma'am." He said smiling at me, then looking over at Isabelle who had pancake mix in her hair.

"Can you please make, some blueberry pancakes and a strawberry smoothie." I smiled at him and he nodded his head.

"Of course ma'am anything else." He asked walking over to Isabelle and handing her a towel.

"Please make sure the smoke detectors are up to date." I said and made him laugh.

"Of course ma'am, and also Mr. Jordan called earlier this morning. He said he'll be over for lunch." He said picking up a clean pan, and pulling out ingredients. "Oh and he is bringing Mr. Lewis with him."

"Simon? Simon is coming with him." I asked him and he stopped and looked at me.

"Yes ma'am." He smiled and continued to work.

I froze for a second deep in thought about the information that was just given to me. Jonathan walked over to me and stood in front of me he grabbed my arms and looked at me with concern.

"Clarissa are you ok?" he asked pulling me out of my deep thought. I shook my head and looked up at him.

"Oh yes, it's just I haven't seen Simon in a while." I said and gave him a reassured smile. "I think I'm going to go get a shower, I'll be back down when breakfast is done." I smiled and turned around; I headed out of the kitchen and walked through the living room.

"Hey." I heard behind me, I turned around to see Jace standing shirtless and in jeans that hung loss around his waist.

"Hey." I answered at smiled at him. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Where did you go this morning?" He asks and pressed his forehead to mine.

"I went to the gallery; I had something I had to finish for next week." I said and wiggled my nose against his.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked and cupped my chin.

"Yeah, just got some wind burn from the ride there and home. I gotta get a shower." I whispered back to him. He shook his head and leaned down and kissed me gently and tenderly.

He pulled back and rubbed my back; I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. I closed my eyes and stood there for a little bit, this is where I wanted to be. I felt all my worries, and fears disappear in his arms. I sighed and looked back up at him; he pressed a kiss to my forehead and released me.

"Breakfast is being made." I said and leaned up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek, and wandered up stairs.

Jace POV

I watched Clarissa walk up the stairs, something was wrong. The way she looked at me wasn't like normal, her face a pale and her skin was cold. I wandered into the kitchen to see Jonathan and Isabelle talking to some guy who was cooking pancakes.

"He hasn't been back since then." The man said and flipped a pancake onto a plate and handed it to Isabelle.

"Who hasn't been back?" I asked and sat down besides Isabelle.

"Miss. Clarissa's friend Mr. Lewis." The man cooking said and handed me a pancake cake.

"Why?" I asked starting to eat my pancake.

"Mr. Morgenstern would leave for business on some weekends, and when Miss. Clarissa first opened her gallery, she met Mr. Lewis. Her and him went on a few dates together, and then after awhile Mr. Lewis moved in." he paused and sighed and placed the pan in the sink. He looked at all of us and closed his eyes.

"Miss. Clarissa was in love with him, and he her. But one night Mr. Simon and Miss. Clarissa had a fight about wanting to get married, and Miss. Clarissa left for a few hours. When she came back she went up to Mr. Lewis's room, and found Mr. Lewis with another woman." The man said and looked at us. He looked disappointed as he told us the story.

"Miss. Clarissa was heartbroken, she didn't leave her room for a week. When Mr. Morgenstern returned from his business trip he was so furious that Mr. Simon broke her heart. He told Mr. Simon to never come back to the house, and till this day Mr. Lewis hasn't returned once." He said and began cleaning up the kitchen counter.

"Oh poor Clarissa. How old was she when this happened?" Isabelle asked finishing her pancake.

"Miss. Clarissa was 17, after Mr. Simon she began to model and started painting pieces for her gallery. She has change very much since she was 17, Mr. Morgenstern was very proud of her." He said and started to wash the dishes.

"Oh Clarissa, I wonder why she never told us about this." Jonathan said

"Perhaps she was embarrassed." Isabelle said.

"Yes it was very embarrassing I thought he loved me, but apparently I was wrong." Clarissa said standing in the door frame. Everyone stopped and looked at her, the man cleaning the dishes dropped the plate into the sink.

"I'm sorry Miss. Clarissa they asked and it didn't feel right to lie to them miss." He said and looked at her with fear.

"It's okay Henry, the truth was going to come out sooner or later." She said smiling at him and places a hand on his arm reassuring him.

"Ma'am will Mr. Lewis and Mr. Jordan join you for dinner?" He asked and began cleaning the dishes again.

"I'm not quite sure, I will tell you when I find out." She said and walked over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water.

We all starred at her with sadness, she looked at all of us with question.

"Why are you all starring at me like that? It was a very long time ago; I'm not the same naïve girl, which I was when I met him." She said and walked over to cabinet. When she reached up to get a cup, her crop top raised showing her rib tattoos.

She pulled down a glass and poured the water into the glass. We all continue eating in silence, until there was a knock at the door. Clarissa froze; she looked at all of us and gave us a fake smile, and left the room.

When Clarissa returned she had two men following her, a tall brown haired boy was behind her, and then a curly brown hair man with glasses was behind him.

"Jordan, Simon. This is Jonathan, Isabelle and Jace." Clarissa said pointing at all of us, the man with the glasses rushed over to Jonathan and shook his hand.

"Simon Lewis, huge fan of your band. When did you realize you wanted to form a band?" He asked shaking Jonathans hand nervously.

"When I was 18." Jonathan said coldly.

Clarissa rolled her eyes, and looked back a Jordan who was apologizing to her. She shook her head and smiled, she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me, I bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

Jordan was standing there smiling at Clarissa, while Simon stood frozen in place crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. We all sat down around the table, and tried to start a conversation.

"So Jace you are the lead singer of the band?" Jordan asked trying to make small talk. I smiled at him and nodded my head. "I've been singing since I was 7."

"That's cool; wait isn't there another member of the band?" Jordan asked looking at Isabelle.

"Yeah, our brother Alec. He doesn't like to travel by airplane, so he decided to stay home with his boyfriend." She said looking at Jace.

"So Jordan how do you know my sister?" Jonathan asked looking at Jordan with interest.

"Oh Clarissa works with my fiancée at her gallery. Maia introduced us at Clarissa first show. Which reminds me, did you finish the last piece, Maia was freaking out saying that you left in a rush." He said looking at Clarissa with concern. Her face paled, and looked at him wide eyes. She covered her face up with a smile.

"Yes I finished it before I left." She said taking my hand.

"Oh good, Maia will be happy when she gets home tonight." He said and started to laugh. "Yeah if she's not freaking out about the wedding, she's freaking out about work."

Clarissa started to laugh and shook her head. "That sounds like Maia, wait when are guys you getting married?" she asked

"June, hopefully." Jordan said with a proud smile.

"Best of luck." Clarissa said to Jordan who just smiled.

"Some people have the best luck, huh Clarissa?" Simon said sitting at the end of the table with his arms crossed over his chest, giving Clarissa a glare. Her face turned red, and she stood up abruptly.

"Simon may I have a word?" she said looking at him before walking out of the kitchen with him hot at her tail.

Jordan sighed and put his head in his hands. He raked his fingers through his hair, then looking up at all of us. "That's a long story right there." He said and point towards the door.

"We know." All three of us said in unison.

He cocked his eyebrow up in curiosity. "I just want you to know, I didn't want to bring him."

Clarissa and Simon returned and both sat down quietly in their seats, I looked down at Clarissa with concern. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on my lips. She smiled and sat quietly in her chair starring off in the distance.

"When do you all go on tour?" Jordan asked Jace.  
>"Next month, we start in Los Angeles." I said<p>

"Clarissa are you going with them?" Simon asked

"Um not sure yet, my gallery opens next week." She said not even looking at him.

"Hmph." He made a sound in his throat.

"So when do you guys go back to New York?" Simon asked looking at Jonathan.

"Well, after our father's funeral of course." Jonathan answered coldly looking down at his phone.

"What funeral?" Clarissa piped out looking at Jonathan.

"Dad's funeral." He said looking at her with confusion.

"Dad's not having a funeral; I'm going to spread his ashes on his new skyscraper building sight." Clarissa said and Jonathan looked at her like she just slapped him across the face.

"What? Cremated. He needs to be buried in a Baptist cemetery." He said raising his voice a little.

"A Baptist cemetery? He wasn't a Baptist, he's already been cremated." She said glaring at him.

"WHAT! Of course he was a Baptist; we all went to church together when we were littler." He answered back

"Jonathan, mom is a Baptist she made us go to church, not dad he was Jewish." Clarissa said standing up crossing her arms over her chest.

"How did you know, that he wanted to be cremated?" he said standing up.

"Because I was there when he wrote his will. I know what he wanted." She yelled at him.

He stood frozen in his place and starred at her with concern.

"After you and mom left, we went to the lawyer's office the next day. He wanted remove mom from his will, and to do that he had to rewrite the whole thing. I sat there and listened to the lawyer read the will out loud. You never saw him cry did you? It was so depressing, he always told me after that. "Never cry for me when I'm gone.'" Clarissa said and walked out of the room.

Jonathan went to go after to her when Isabelle placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let her calm down." She said and we all sat back down.

"When I first met Clarissa, she was an innocent little girl; she would cry all the time, and then one day she stopped. I haven't seen her cry in 5 years, the little you once knew Jonathan Is gone." Jordan said standing up motioning for Simon to stand up as well. "I think we should be going now, it was really a pleasure to meet all of you." Jordan said and walked through the kitchen door.

When Jordan and Simon left, we all sat there in silence. Jonathan sighed and closed his eyes, "I don't understand, what happened to her." Jonathan stated.

"She grew up." I stated and got up to go find Clarissa.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"It's not polite to stare." I said talking to Jace who was standing a few feet behind me.

"It's kind of hard not to stare, I like starring at beautiful people." He said and sat down next to me on my bed.

"Humph, I think you starring at the wrong person." I said and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"You know you are beautiful, why do you deny it?" He asked stroking my hair.

"It's just something I've been doing for a while." I said simply, trying to get off the topic of me.

"Are you okay?" He asked and grabbed my hand.

"I just don't understand how Jonathan can walk in here and try to correct my life, when my life is fine." I said and lay back on my bed. Jace leaned down so that he was lying on his side holding his head up with his hand.

"Maybe he's still thinking you're 16 years old." He said and stroked my cheek with his finger.

"But I'm not, that's the problem." I sighed and crossed my arms over my eyes.

"No you most certainly are not." Jace chuckled, I looked up at him through my arms and shook my head, but I could hide my smile. I kicked him in the chine, he let out a 'ow' sounds and started tickling me.

"Stop, stop." I panted through the laughs.

"do you want to go out, on a date?" He asked looking at me mischievously.

"Sure." I whispered, he bent down and pecked my lips. He grabbed my hands and pulled me off the bed, we walked out of my bedroom, and down the stairs. We walked out of the house, he stopped and looked down at me. "

"What vehicle do you want to take." He asked. I looked over at my Harley and pointed towards it.

He raised his eyebrow and frowned. "I don't know how to drive that." He murmured as I skipped over to it.

"No, but I do." I said and I swung my leg over the bike. I looked back at Jace who was starring at me, "Well are you just gonna stand there, or get on?" I asked. He walked over slowly an dswung his leg over the bike and sat behind me. "Where do I hold on to?" He asked whispering into my ear.

I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around my stomach. He planted his chin on my shoulder and kissed my neck; I shook my head and smiled.

"You know I could get use to this." He whispered into my ear, and planted kiss behind it. I slide the key in the ignition and lurched it forward; Jace tightened his arms around me holding on for dear life. I laughed and drove us down the street and into the city.

We drove for about 20 minutes until we came up to the gallery. I slowed the bike down, and parked it. I swung my leg off, and Jace followed me to the front door.

I pushed the door open and we walked through into the lobby. "Where are we?" Jace said behind me, I grabbed his hand pulled him towards my workroom.

We walked down the hall way and ended up in front of my steel door. I turned the door knob, and pushed it open; the smell of paint and bleach filled our noses. The room was dark, Jace let go of my hand and walked forward a little bit. I flipped the lights on and everything turned on, Jace's eyes widened.

He looked around the room, looking at my paintings the good ones and also the ones that were starting to stack up in my trash can. "You did all these?" He asked looking at the one I finished this morning. I nodded my head and walked over to the painting.

"What's this one about, does it have a meaning?" he asked and I just shook my head.

"It's my dad and I when my mom left us; we sat in his bedroom holding each other until we fell asleep." I said and touched the canvas, remembering that day as if it was yesterday.

I sighed and took my hand down. 'I didn't start painting for real, until I caught Simon with Aline." I paused. "He proposed to me I was only 17, I wasn't ready to get married. I told him that if he really loved me he would wait until I was ready, he got mad and said that he couldn't wait that long. So I left, I needed time to think. The hole time I was gone all I could think was "I don't want to lose him." So I went home, to tell him that I would marry him. I went to his room, I pushed open the door, and Aline was on top of him. He pushed her off when he saw me, and followed me. He kept apologizing and apologizing, I just kept walking away I couldn't handle it. He grabbed my arm to stop me and punched me in the face."

I realized that I started to tear up and I glanced up at Jace, who was staring at me with horror. "Today was the first day in 3 years, that I've seen him." I whispered and pushed myself up onto the table. Jace came over to me and wrapped his arms were around my waist, because I was sitting on the table I was a few inches taller than him. I place my hands on his cheeks and leaned down and kissed him. It was a sweet and innocent kissed that was deepened with desire. I pulled away and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, I leaned my head on top of hi and pressed a kiss in his golden locks.

I sighed and looked down at him. "Are you hungry?"

He smiled and nodded his head 'yes', I grabbed his hand he helped me down. We walked hand and hand out of the building and onto the side walk. "There's a restaurant right down the street we can walk there if you want." He nodded his head and wrapped his arm around my shoulder; I smiled and walked us towards the restaurant.

When we got there, there was a group of photographers following us. Jace looked down at me and rolled his eyes, I smirked and laughed. We walked into the restaurant and waited to be seated.

"Hello, welcome to Taki's. How many?" The hostess asked.

"2 and ma'am could you possibly seat us away from a window." Jace said and pointed at the group of photographers. She shook her head and waved her hand at us. "This way please."

We followed her into the backroom, where there weren't any windows. We sat down and ordered drinks; we took out the menus and ordered our food.

"So Clarissa, what are you going to do when we leave?" Jace asked taking a sip of his water.

"I don't know, when are you leaving?"

"Next Thursday, we have to be back before Saturday. That's when our tour starts." He answered looking at me with curiosity.

"Well my gallery opens up on Tuesday, so I'll have to think about it." I said

"How long will your tour take?" I asked

"It's going to take about a month to travel everywhere." He said frowning at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked and grabbed his hand over the table.

"I don't think I could leave you. "He said and rubbed his thumb over my finger.

"Yes you can, once you leave, you'll forget about me." I said.

"How could I forget you? I'm falling for you; the more you push me away the harder I'm falling." He said and smiled at me. Our food came, and we sat in silence for a while, we just looked at each other, thinking about leaving each other. I've only known this boy for a few days, and I can't imagine a day without him.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked eating his food.

"What we are." I answered and took a sip of water.

"What are we?" He asked and cocked his eyebrow at me.

"What do you want us to be?" I asked returning the same expression.

"I want you to be mine." He answered and smiled at me.

"I'd like that." I answered and put my fork down.

His eyes lit up with excitement, and a wolfish grin spread across his face. He waved his hand at the waiter telling him, we were done. The waiter brought over our check; after we paid we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand.

"So Clarissa, now that we are officially a couple. What shall we do?" He asked as we walked down the side walk. The sun had fallen and what was in the sky were the night stars sparkling above us. The wind blew through, cutting through our clothes like a knife.

"I think we should go home, and go to bed." I whispered as we walked to my bike.

"Bed? What will we do in bed?" He asked as we stopped in front of the bike.

"Sleep, I'm exhausted." I said and smiled at him; he pulled me closer and kissed my forehead.

I swung my leg over the bike, and waited for Jace to get on. Once he was sitting behind me I leaned back and rest my head against his chest. He bent down and kissed my hair and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I slid the key in the ignition and drove the motorcycle out of the city with the cold wind sending shivers down my spine. Jace rested his head on my back, and rubbed circles on my stomach. This is where I want to be, here with him.

Maybe I'm not alone in this world.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

*Monday*

These past few days have gone by in a blur, nothing seems real. My dad is gone, my brother in sleeping with his girlfriend in my spare bedroom, I'm falling in love, and my gallery is opening tomorrow, dear lord give me strength.

I starred up at the ceiling watching the fan go round and round. I haven't been able to sleep since my dad's will reading. It didn't feel like he was actually gone, until I heard the lawyer read off his will.

'_We are gathered here today to read off Valentine Jonathan Morgenstern will.' The lawyer says and picks up a paper off a file folder. He clears his throat and begins to read. _

"_My Dearest Clarissa, _

_If you are reading this, that means I have departed this beautiful world. My darlings remember when your mother left and I made you promise not to cry for me? Please keep that promise; I don't want you to be full of sorrow after I'm gone. I want you to know how proud I am of you; you are a beautiful, intelligent, and artistic young girl. You have made me so very proud, I smile to ear to ear when I talk about you, never doubt my love. _

_I love you my darling. Please fulfill your life with happiness. _

_Love you forever._

_~Old Man~"_

_The lawyer looked up from the piece of paper and eyed me carefully. I shook my head and tried to fight back the tears that were stinging my eyes. He looked over a Jonathan, who was sitting with his hands clasped together; Jonathan looked at me and gave me a sad smile. _

_The lawyer picked up another piece of paper and began to read. _

"_My son Jonathan Christopher Fray,_

_My son even though we haven't had a lot of time together over the years. I love you with all my heart. I have been so proud to call you my son, take care of Clarissa. She won't be the same after I'm gone. _

_I love you my son._

_~Valentine~"_

_The lawyer put down the paper and looked at us both, we were both starring at him. _

"_We will now go through his belongings and give them to who he wanted them to go to." The lawyer spoke softly. _

"_Valentine Morgenstern gives Jonathan Fray 10% of his overall money, Clarissa Morgenstern gets 90% of the rest of the money. Valentine Morgenstern gives Jonathan his cars, and his old guitar and drum set. Jonathan gets the Los Angeles apartment, and the Miami beach house."_

_The lawyer continued talking but mind started to wander off. Before I knew it, I was standing up and running out the door. Not knowing where I was going, I just kept running. I finally started to slow down; I bent over and placed my hands on my knees. I was breathing heavily, minding racing, heart pumping. I stood up and placed my arms on my head, I started to walk back. _

_I slowly walked back up to the building; I sat down on the bench and placed my head in my hands. _

'_This is too much.' I thought to myself. 'I can't do this.'_

_I stood up and whistled a cab, and went home.'_

I've been lying in bed ever since, my phone was ringing over and over again. I turned my phone off and locked my door. It's now Monday morning, I groan as I try and get up. There's a knock at the door, I turn towards the door, and I unlock the bolt and crack the door.

"Good morning." Jace says through the crack, bends down and kisses my nose.

"It is now." I whisper and open the door to let him in.

I turn around and walked over to my bed, I lie back down and hide under the covers. Jace lies down next to me, and rubs my stomach.

"Jonathan told me you bolted yesterday." He said as he kissed my temple.

"It was too much." I whispered and rolled over to place my cheek on his chest. He placed his hand on my back and started to rub circles.

"I know, it'll be ok." He whispered into my hair.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"For what?" He said looking down at my face.

"For being you." I whispered and kissed his nose.

He wrapped his arms around me and started to kiss my neck. He nuzzles his nose into my neck, and kisses my collar bone.

"We should get up." He whispered and looked down at me and smiled.

"No. I just want to lay here with you." I whispered

He smiled and shook his head; he pulled me into his chest and rested his head on top of my head.

He pulls me into his arms, kissing me, twisting his hands into my hair. He's on top of me pinning my body into the mattress. He runs his nose along my jaw line as my hands move to his air.

His hand travels under my sweat shirt and up my jacket. He smiles and looks up at me when he realizes that I'm not wearing a bra. He tugs the sweatshirt over my head and tosses it into a corner. He trails his nose down my throat, across my breast, kissing me reverentially as he does. "You're so beautiful." He murmurs, as he takes one of my nipples in his mouth. I moan as my body bows off the bed.

His hand trails down to my waist, and I glory in the feel of his touch, somehow between him touching me, he has taken off his t- shirt, and pants. Skin to skin- his hungry mouth at my breasts and his skilled long fingers caressing and stroking me, cherishing me. Moving over my hips and down my leg to my knee, and all this time he's kissing and sucking my breasts.

Grasping my knees, he suddenly hitches my leg up , curling it over his hips, making me gasp, and I feel rather than see his responding grim against my skin. He removes my panties and tosses them across the room, not to be seen again. He rolls over so that I am astride him and hands me a foil packet. Realizing that he's already taken off his boxers, I hurriedly tear open the condom and unroll over him. He holds out his hands for me. I take one and with my other hand, I position myself over him, then slowly he fills me.

He groans low in his throat, closing his eyes. He places his hands on my hips and moves me up, down, and pushes into me. Suddenly he sits up so we're nose to nose, and the sensation is extraordinary. I gasp, grabbing his upper arms as he clasps my head in his hands and gazes into my eyes- his intense and golden, burning with desire. "You are so beautiful." He murmurs and kisses me passionately with fervent ardor. I kiss him back, dizzy with the delicious feeling of him buried deep inside me.

He rolls over taking me with him, without breaking our precious contact, so that I'm lying beneath him. I wrap my legs around his waist.

He stares down at me with adoring wonder, and I am sure I mirror is expression as I reach up and caress his beautiful face. Very slowly, he starts to move, closing his eyes ad he does and moaning softly.

My room is silent but our mingled breaths as he moves in and out of me, so controlled and so good, it's heavenly. He puts his arm over my head, his hand on my hair, and he caresses my face with the other as he bends to kiss me.

I touch his arms, his hair, his lower back, and my breathing accelerates as his steady rhythm pushes me higher and higher. He is kissing my mouth, my chin, my jaw, then nibbling my ear lobe. I can hear his staccato breaths with each gentle thrust of his body. My body starts to quiver, he thrusts again and I explode around him.

"Jace." I call out and he groans as we both come together.

"Clarissa." He pants

He lies on top of me, laying his face in the crook of my neck. He pulls out of me and tosses the condom in the trash can next to my bed. He lies back down next to me and wraps his arms around me.

"That was amazing." I whispered into his chest. He looked down and smiled at me.

"Yes, you are." He sys and kisses my forehead.

I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. I begin to drift into sleep when I hear my bedroom door, slam open.

"Clarissa I need to …. OH MY GOD!" Isabelle screamed.

'Oh shit.' I'm dead…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

"What the hell is going on?" Isabelle said covering her eyes.

"What does it look like Isabelle?" Jace snapped at her covering me up with the blanket.

"Did you two have sex?" She asked still covering her eyes.

"Isabelle is it really any of your business?" I asked getting out of bed to find some clothes.

I picked up Jace's jeans and tossed them to him. He winked at me, making me blush as I walked into my closet.

"Well yes actually, Jace is my brother." Isabelle said.

"You sleep with my brother." I said pulling on a t-shirt and leggings. I walked out of the closet to see Isabelle still standing and Jace sitting on the bed with only his jeans on.

"Yeah, but that's different. We are in a relationship." She answered.

"So are Clarissa and I." Jace said as I sat down next to him.

"What? Since when?" Isabelle said taking her hands off her eyes looking down at us.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is that we're together." Jace snapped standing up.

"Awe! You guys are so cute together!" Isabelle squealed and walked over and gave me a hug.

"Isabelle, what did you come in here for?" I asked as she removed her arms from me.

"Oh well Jonathan got a call from Magnus, and well we have to leave tomorrow." She said stepping back.

'What?' I thought to myself, my heart dropped. 'Jace has to leave?' I glanced at him, he was starring at Isabelle with widen eyes.

"What? Magnus said we could stay till Thursday?" Jace snapped standing up from the bed.

"There isn't anything we can do. Magnus said we have to be home tomorrow, or the tour is off. We can't afford to cancel it." Isabelle said.

"I can't just leave Clarissa, she's all by herself." Jace said and looked back at me.

"She could always come with us..." Isabelle stated.

"I… cant I have my gallery opening tomorrow." I stuttered and looked up from the floor to Isabelle.

"We don't leave till 9 tomorrow night. What times your opening?" She said

"It starts at 4, and ends at 7." I said and looked at Isabelle. Her eyes widen and she smiled, she jumped up and down.

"Then you can come with us!" She squealed.

"Isabelle she can't just drop everything and come with us." Jace said looking from me to her.

"Why not? We do it all the time." She said and looked at Jace who was giving her a glare; she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Well at least think about it ok? It'd be nice to have another girl on tour." With that she walked out the door. I sighed and placed my head in my hands, raking my fingers through my knotty hair.

"Are you ok?" Jace asked as he sat down next to me on the bed.

"I guess. I don't want you to go." I sighed into my hands.

"I don't want to go either, but I can't stay." He said and cupped my chin pulling my face to his.

"I know, it wouldn't be fair if you guys had to cancel your tour because of me." I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

He stroked my cheek with his finger; he pressed his forehead against mine, closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"I don't want to leave you." He whispered.

"You have to." I whispered feeling my heart break in my chest.

"But I don't want to." He says and kisses the bridge of my nose."I don't want to let you go."

"Then hold me now." I whispered and kissed him. We leaned back down onto the bed, wrapped in each other's arms.

The rest of the day went by in a matter of seconds, not really but it felt like it. We just laid there wrapped in each other's arms, we watched the sun go down under the trees, and watched the moon rise and join the stars in the sky.

"You're so beautiful." Jace whispered into my hair. I looked up from starring out my windows and looked into his beautiful golden orbs.

"You're a terrible liar, you know that right?" I said teasing. All he did was roll his eyes and shift so that he was on top of me.

"Why Mr. Herondale, what on earth are you doing up there?" I asked looking up at his beautiful face.

"Starring at an angel Miss. Morgenstern." He said taking hold of my hands and pressing them in to the mattress. He lent forward a bit so that his face was hanging over mine in a teasing distance. He lets go of my hands and places his cold hands on my hips, tracing his fingers around my belly button, making me squirm under his touch. His coldness sent shivers up and down my spine, forming goose bumps on my pale white skin. I closed my eyes savoring his touch as his fingers traced under my breasts, then traveling to my navel.

"Are you tried?" He asked bending down and kissing my belly button.

"Mhmm." I answered realizing how exhausted I actually was.

"I'll take that as a yes." I laughed and laid down beside me, I turned my self onto my side so that I as facing him. I close my eyes and rest my head against the pillows; I intertwine one of my legs with Jace's. He brushes his hand against my cheek I smile at his touch; I feel his warm breath against my cheek as he leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead. He detaches his leg with mine and goes to get off the bed; I lean forward and grab his arm.

"Don't leave please." I plead hoping he'll stay. "At least until I've fallen asleep." He looks down at me and smiles. He lies back down and wraps his arms around my waist; I nuzzle my cheek into his shirt. I feel sleep creep up on me, I listen to the steady beat of his heart as I give in to the sleep.

**A/N: Hey guys sorry that this Chapter is really small. I've been really busy with semester finals and my brother and his wife just had their first child so I've been a tad busy helping out my overly excited brother, and sister-in- law. Don't think I haven't forgot you guys, I've just been babysitting my beautiful niece. The next Chapter will be posted within the 24 hour time range, tonight is the only night I haven't help out with the baby. So I hope you enjoy my story so far, please if you have any questions message me. I don't bite…. Much **

**Review, Favorite, Follow. **

**Thanks **

**~ForeverNicole~**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming out on this fine after noon. Please walk around, donate if you want, and please enjoy yourselves." I said smiling at the crowd that is forming in the gallery lobby.

I look around and see smiling faces pointing fingers and wallets. More people have come to this gallery then any others that I have opened before. 'I wish you were here dad.' I think to myself as I walk amongst the crowd, trying to find a familiar face.

Jonathan and the others are at home packing… Thinking about being all by myself in that house is… distressing. Jonathan doesn't know this but I packed a suit case just in case decided to go with them last minute.

It's only been 2 weeks since Jace has been in town; it hurts to think about him leaving… Why am I feeling like this?

I am pulled out of my thoughts by a man giving me a 20 dollar bill. I smile gratefully at the man, and watch him leave the gallery. I stand in the same spot for a few minutes receiving money and condolences on my father's passing... Is that why everyone showed up? Because they felt pity for me? God I need a cigarette…

I place the money I have collected in the lock box, and head out the back door. The cold November air slices through my sweater, goose bumps form over my skin. I sit down on a metal crate that sits in the alley way, I grab a cigarette out of the pack and light it.

(Jace)

"Jace put the suit cases in the back of the truck, we have to go soon." Izzy said placing one of her suit cases next to the chair I was sitting in. I sighed and stood up grabbing the luggage and walking out towards the truck.

I load up the truck and leaned against the side, I side and leaned my head back trying to forget the argument Clarissa and I had before she left.

*Flashback*

"Clarissa are you coming with us?" Izzy asked packing up her clothing.

"I haven't had the chance to think about it yet." Clarissa answered with a sigh and continued to help Izzy with her clothes.

"Oh well I think you should. Our flight leaves at 3." Izzy said

"What? 3 I thought you said you weren't leaving till 9?" Clarissa asked looking at me. I sighed and went to answer. "I didn't want you to worry, I thought we would be able to make your show, but Magnus called and scheduled us an earlier flight." I answered

"And what? I would leave for the show and come back and you guys would be gone?" She asked I watched the tears form in her eyes.

"Clarissa there wasn't anything I could do; I knew you wouldn't want to come." I said.

"How would you know? You don't know me Jace." She stated and wiped her eyes.

"Clarissa you can't miss your gallery, I know how much it means to you." I said walking towards her. She stepped back and I stopped dead.

"It's just a gallery. It would be here when I get back… But it doesn't matter anymore because obviously you don't want me to go." She said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Clarissa I want you to come." I said.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" She asked giving me a glare.

"I… don't know… I.. just thought." I stuttered.

"Yeah that's what I thought." She said and walked past me and out the door.

I followed after her trying to catch up; she went down to the kitchen and grabbed her keys.  
>"Clarissa where are you going?" I said stopping in front of her.<p>

"I'm going to my show, might as well not be late." She answered coldly.

"Clarissa please don't do this… just wait well drive you there."

"I'm going to say goodbye to Jonathan then I'm gone. I don't need your ride." She said and turned around and went to look for Jonathan. When she returned she had tears running down her face, I grabbed her wrist and smashed my lips onto hers. We were froze for a minute until she broke off and sniffled.

"I have to go." She said and walked out of the house, I watched her drive off on her motorcycle.

*End Flashback*

"Hello, earth to Jace." Jon said getting into the front seat, I nodded my head and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Did you see Clarissa before she left?" Jon asked driving down the street.

"uh, yeah she was pretty upset." I muttered looking out the window.

"Why was she upset? She seemed fine when she said bye to me." Jon said

"I didn't tell her when we were leaving." I murmured.

"What? Why didn't you tell her?" Jon asked looking at me.

"I don't know... I just didn't." I said placing my head in my hands.

The rest of the trip to the airport was silent; occasionally Jon would sigh and turn up the radio. I just stared up at sky as we drove down the high way.

(Clary)

"Hey Clare, the gallery's almost closed." Maia said sticking her head out the back door.

I smiled at her and d nodded my head. "Ok will be in, in a minute."

"You okay?" she asked with a concerned face.

"Yeah, just been a long day." I sniffled.

I stood up and walked inside, I said goodbye to the remaining people and helped Maia clean up the food.

"So when are you and Jace leaving?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat.

"Jace already left." I muttered.

"What?!" she yelled slamming down the plate on the counter.

"Jon, Izzy and Jace left on the 3 o'clock flight to New York." I stated and threw away the paper plates.

"I thought they weren't leaving till 9 or 10, what happened?" She asked

"Their manager called and rescheduled their flight. So they all were packing when I left." I answered.

"Are you gonna go after them?"

"What? I...cant." I stuttered giving her a confused look.

"Are you gonna go to New York? I mean you don't have another opening until February why not? I mean it would be good for you guys."

"Maia I can't just drop everything and leave." I said.

"Why not? I would if I were you. It's not every day you start dating Jace Herondale..." She says and walks out the door leaving me dazed and confused.

After a few minutes of thinking my plan through I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Raphael's number.

"Yes ma'am?" he answered.

"Get the jet ready, I'm flying to New York." I said and hung up the phone.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_I can't look at you in the same light  
>Know what you did to my heart doesn't feel right<br>Yeah, my head's been tripping all night  
>I need another point of view<em>

_I got a friend who's committed to sci-fi  
>He's read every comic, he's addicted to Twilight<br>He'll give you the goosebumps  
>But he's never led me wrong<em>

_He said, "She's got a method of killing  
>Pulling you in like you're gonna start kissing<br>Fooling around, until you lost all feeling  
>Sucking your blood until your heart stops beating."<em>

_Before we started it was over  
>I feel our bodies getting colder<br>She gives me a feeling that I can't fight  
>And it's the road that leads to nowhere<br>But all I wanna do is go there  
>She's got me running from the daylight<br>Daylight_

_I got a taste for it and I'm obsessed  
>Lying here no fear in the darkness<br>Now I'm not happy unless  
>I'm close enough to you<em>

_And all these dreams I'm dreaming  
>Freaking me out I wish I knew the meaning<br>Doesn't make sense because I'm just not seeing  
>How I'm alive, it feels like I'm not breathing<em>

_Before we started it was over  
>I feel our bodies getting colder<br>She gives me a feeling that I can't fight  
>And it's the road that leads to nowhere<br>But all I wanna do is go there  
>She's got me running from the daylight<br>Daylight_

_I'm not ready to start again  
>And you're not willing to make amends<br>Now the daylight's dangerous  
>It will turn us both to dust<em>

_I'm not ready to start again  
>And you're not willing to make amends<br>Now the daylight's dangerous  
>And it is much too late for us<em>

_Before we started it was over  
>I feel our bodies getting colder<br>She gives me a feeling that I can't fight  
>And it's the road that leads to nowhere<br>But all I wanna do is go there  
>She's got me running from the daylight<br>Daylight_

_I feel our bodies getting colder  
>She gives me a feeling that I can't fight<br>And it's the road that leads to nowhere  
>But all I wanna do is go there<br>She's got me running from the daylight  
>Daylight <em>

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

The flight was full of fans, crying babies, and cranky grandmas. It was the worst 3 hours of my life... We should have taken the jet. That probably wouldn't have been a good idea either, especially leaving Clarissa the way I did. Jonathan and Izzy slept the whole way, while I sat there starring out the window thinking about those beautiful emerald eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please buckle your seat belts and put the food tray in their upright positions we're about to touch down. Thank you for flying with Southwest, please have a wonderful day." The captain said over the intercom.

Jonathan and Izzy sat up straight holding onto each other for dear life, as if we were about to crash.

"Izzy de-claw your nails from Jonathan's skin." I said bitterly

"Jace you know I have a fear of flying. What got shoved up your ass?" She snarled at me, I just rolled my eyes and proceeded to look out the window again. Izzy let go of Jonathans hand and leaned over and placed her head on my shoulder.

"She'll call you Jace." She whispered. I looked down at her blues eyes and gave her a sad smile.

"No she won't... You didn't see her face before she left." I answered back and patted her head. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine see." I said and gave her a cheesy smile. She giggled and lifted her head, and grasped Jonathan's hands again as we felt the landing gear touch down on the pavement.

Once the airplane finally stopped everyone stood up and collected their carry on, and proceeded off the plane. Sadly as Jonathan, Isabelle, and I walked through the terminal we were bombarded with flashes and shouting.

"Jace are you dating someone?" Someone shouted

"Who were you visiting?" Another person shouted.

I looked at Isabelle and Jonathan who were a few steps ahead of me trying to get through the crowd; I stopped to answer their questions.

"I'll answer, as long as you ask them one at a time." I answered and the reporters started to become quiet.

"Jace tell us, who was that girl you were with in Chicago? The one with the red hair?" A woman asked shoving a tape recorder in front of me, I smiled and answered politely.

"My girlfriend."

"What's her name?" Someone else asked.

"Clarissa."

"Morgenstern?"

"Yes." I answered.

"How does Jonathan, your best friend. Feel about you dating his little sister?" someone asked.

"Well he wasn't exactly thrilled." I said and scratched the back of my neck. I looked over at the door and saw Luke and Jonathan trying to get my attention, waving me to hurry up.

"Uh listen laggies I have to run." I said and made my way towards the door. When I made it to Luke he pulled me into a hug.

"I missed my musicians; it's not the same not having you guys here." Luke said and let go of me. I gave him a smile and bent down to give Jocelyn a hug. She leaned up on her tip toes to wrap her arms around me; she was fragile… like Clarissa. She released me from her bear hug and looked towards Jonathan.

"How is Clarissa holding up?" She asked with the hint of concern in her voice.

"She's fine." He answered and looked form Jocelyn to me; I looked away trying to avoid the awkward eye contact. It didn't work, Jonathan cleared his throat and asked.

"Yeah Jace how do you think Clarissa is holding up with everything?" He asked with a smile.

I sighed and gave him a death glare, but soon stopped when Jocelyn looked at me. "Uh, I think she's fine."

"Well that is good, especially since she will be by herself... Oh I do wish she would move here." Jocelyn said and walked over towards the car. Jonathan walked next to me, I connected my elbow with his rib, and he inhaled sharply and pushed me forward.

"Would you two knock your shit off...? God its freezing out here I would like to get home today." Jocelyn said and slid into the passenger side of the car. I looked at Jonathan who had a hand on his rib and had a devilish smile on his face. "Yes mom." He muttered and got into the back of the car, I slid in behind him and Luke drove us home.

"So how was Clarissa's show?" Jocelyn asked and a twang of guiltiness burst within me. I looked out the window and waited until Isabelle spoke up.

"Um well we didn't get to go, our flight was at 3 and her show was at 4." Isabelle said and looked down at her hands nervously. Good thing that I wasn't the only one who felt guilty.

"oh that's a shame, I bet her paintings were beautiful.. Valentine would always tell me how proud he was of her and her paintings." Jocelyn muttered to herself.

"Wait you actually would talk to dad on the phone?" Jonathan spat out.

"Yes, I had to check on Clarissa somehow she would never answer her phone. Valentine would always give me an excuse like "she's painting." Or "she's sleeping." But I knew she was ignoring me." Jocelyn sighed and looked out the window. Luke reached over and grabbed her hand and stroked her knuckles with his thumb.

"Mom Clarissa's been through a lot over the years." Jonathan answered.

"What do you mean 'she's been through a lot'?" Jocelyn asked turning around to face us in the backseat.

"Um you know like, it's just been her and dad... And stuff like that." Jonathan stuttered, Isabelle started to giggle then stopped abruptly when Jonathan nudges her in the side with his elbow.

"Oh well yes I understand that but still you can't pick up the phone once and a while." Jocelyn continued. I shook my head and continued to look out the window, the more we talked about Clarissa the more I realized how much I missed her.

The rest of the ride home was full of awkward silence and random questions Luke and Jocelyn would ask. I was itching to get out of the car and get some alone time for a bit, and to think about Clarissa in peace.

We pulled up to my apartment and Luke stopped the car in front of the curb and popped the trunk, I pushed open the door and got out quickly. I got my bags out of the back and said goodbye to everyone and headed up the lawn towards the front door.

I slid the key into the lock and pushed the door open, I waved to the car pulling away from the curb, and shut the door. I slid down the door and sunk onto the floor. I closed my eyes and sighed, I leaned my head back against the door and heard someone laugh.

I jumped up and looked around the room, trying to find out where that laugh came from. Suddenly the living room light came on; hiding in the shadows was a small figure.

The figure stepped into the light and giggled even more.  
>"You know next time you fly you should just ask for the jet." I looked up from the figures feet to look at its face.<p>

"Clarissa." I sighed and ran towards her, picking her up in one swift movement. She started to laugh and wrapped her legs around me.

"Did you really think that I didn't want to go on tour with you?" She asked stroking my cheeks with her pale fingers.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you... I just didn't... I don't know wh-." I was cut off by her lips crashing down on mine.

Within seconds we were on the floor pulling off clothing, soon we were both naked and gasping for air.

"Jace I need you." Clarissa whispered into my ear, I nodded my head and picked her up and walked up to my bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and grabbed the condom, and unraveled it on. I grabbed both of Clarissa's hands and placed them at the side of her head, we were starring each other in the eyes, lost in each other.

"You ready?" I asked she closed her eyes and shook her head. I slowly inched my member into her, hearing her gasp at my entrance I slowed myself, waiting her to adjust.

"Jace move… please." She begged and I began to thrust in and out of her. With each thrust her nails dug in to my skin, scratching my back leaving red marks up and down my back.

Her fingers ended up knotting themselves in my hair, and she wrapped her legs around my hips. We moaned, and groaned together until we both released ourselves within each other.

I laid next her and watched her flutter her eyes open and then shut, as she drifted into a blissful slumber. I leaned forward to kiss her forehead when she moaned.

"I love you Jace." I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too Clarissa." I whispered in to her ear, and let myself fall asleep with my arms wrapped around her.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The front door opened with a bang as Magnus and Alec entered Jace's apartment. They walked down the narrow hallway, which led to Jace's bedroom; the door was shut over but still opened enough to see someone's leg hanging off the bed.

"Wake up Jonathan!" Magnus said as he pushed the door opened. Sheets started to rustle and then suddenly a red head popped her head up from the pillow.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" she asked and laid her back down and place a pillow over her eyes. Jace let out a low chuckle and rolled over to see a shocked Magnus and Alec standing at the door.

"Well, I would say it's good to see you but it's not." Jace said to the boys then let out a long yawn. "What do you want?"

"Jon wants you to come over." Magnus said and started looked around the room.

"You couldn't call?" Jace said and groaned.

"We called 6 times." Alec said and held up his phone.

"give me a couple minutes." Jace said and rolled over to Clarissa's direction. Magnus rolled his eyes and he and Alec walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them. Jace rolled over to Clarissa and wrapped his arms around her. Clarissa groaned and moved the pillow from her eyes and looked at the golden boy starring down at her.

"Almost everyone of the Lightwood family has walked in on us." Jace mumbled as he reached down and placed a kiss on Clarissa's forehead. She smiled and rolled her eyes, "Lucky them."

Jace smiled and placed another kiss on her cheek and rolled out of bed. Clarissa watched him walk naked across the room and into the bathroom. She laid there for a few more moments, starring at the ceiling until she finally got and got dressed.

She walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to see Magnus and Alec kissing at the kitchen table. She smiled at them and walked across the kitchen and got a cup. Alec pulled away from Magnus, as he heard the cabinet close; he looked at Clarissa and cleared his throat.

"Don't let me interrupt you." Clarissa said and gulped down her coffee; Alec smiled at her and chuckled.

"When did you get to town?" Alec said studying the red heads movements.

"Around the same time my brother got into town." Clarissa said and placed the coffee mug into the sink.

"Biscuit, I love that crop top you are wearing." Magnus said and at Clarissa.

"Thank you." She answered and looked down at her shirt.

"It makes your tattoos look good." He said and took a sip of coffee.

Clarissa smiled and looked awkwardly at the floor, not really sure what to say in return. Jace finally walked through the kitchen doors, breaking the awkward silence.

"Good morning." Jace says walking over to Clarissa and kisses her passionately. Clarissa knots her fingers in his hair, as he slid his tongue into her mouth.

"I hate to break this up but, Alec and I have to skedaddle. We'll see you two later." He said as they both stood up and walk towards the front door.

Clarissa placed her head down on Jace's chest as they heard the front door shut, she sighed and looked up at him. "When are you going to Jonathan's?"

"You mean, when are 'we' going to Jonathan's?" Jace smiled at her and shook his head. "Whenever you're ready." He added and kissed her forehead.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to see my mother." Clarissa said and reached up pecked Jace's lips. Jace smiled and took hold of Clarissa's hand and they both walked to the front door. Jace grabbed the car keys and opened up the door, to see a flock of photographers swarming on the front lawn.

"Goddamn." Jace cursed and held on tighter to Clarissa's hand.

"Jace! Who is she!" a reporter yelled.

Clarissa put her sunglasses on and held tighter onto Jace, as they walked through the swarm on people. They walked to the car in silence trying to ignore the constant snapping and yelling. Once in the car Jace looked and Clarissa and smiled. "You okay?"

"Yes." She answered and he started the engine.

xxx

Jocelyn, Luke, and Jonathan all sat at the table drinking coffee and watching the news.

"Why does Jace need to come over today?" Jocelyn said grabbing the breakfast plates off the table and placed them in the sink.

"We need to go over the list of songs we're going to perform at the show." Jon said and looked up at the TV seeing the bands picture flash across it. "Luke turns that up." Jonathan said to Luke.

'_World's hottest band "Bleeding Angels" kick off their first very own tour on Wednesday. The band had their first signing two weeks ago in New York, in the little coffee shop Java Jones, where lead guitarist Jonathan Fairchild let his younger sister Clarissa Morgenstern, sing in front of the group of friends that camped out for the signing.'_

Pictures of Clarissa and the band flash across the screen, then another picture of Clarissa and Valentine.

'_After the signing Clarissa and Jonathan's father, Valentine Morgenstern tragically dies in a car accident that night. Throughout the past two weeks Jonathan Fairchild, Isabelle Lightwood, and Jace Herondale had been staying with Clarissa at her and her father's house, to help her grieve. _

_Jace Herondale had openly admitted last night upon arrival to New York, which he and Clarissa Morgenstern are in fact in a consensual relationship. No reports have come from Clarissa Morgenstern herself, but picture were taken moments ago of the couple leaving Herondale's apartment, _

_No other word on the relationship from the other band mates, fans are wondering how Jonathan Fairchild feels about his baby sister being with New York's number one player?'_

Jonathan looked from the TV to his mother who had stopped cleaning dishes and starred at the TV dumbfounded. She blinked a few times, and then watched the pictures of Jace and Clarissa flashed across the street.

"You didn't tell me she was coming." She said turning her attention to Jonathan.

"I didn't know she was coming, she and Jace had a fight before we left. I didn't think she would come."

Jonathan and Jocelyn watched the TV again silently as the news reported continued to explain the details of the upcoming tour, and the dates. Suddenly the front door opened and laughter came from the living room.

"I still can't believe you did that." Jace said and let out another laugh.

Jocelyn, Jonathan, and Luke all got up and walked into the front room, to see Clarissa and Jace standing at the front door taking off their jackets, giggling.

"Clary." Jocelyn said.

Clary stopped laughing and looked from Jace to her mother. "Mom."

"Why didn't you say you were coming into town, I would've made a bed for you." Jocelyn said and pulled Clary into a tight and awkward hug.

"It was last minute, and I'm going to be staying with Jace." Clary said and pulled away from her mother. Clary looked at Luke and smiled. "Nice to see you again."

"You too Clary." He smiled politely at the girl.

Jonathan cleared his throat and walked over to Clary pulling her into a bear hug, which made Clary giggle.

"What you missed me already?" Clary laughed as her brother let go.

"I wish you would have called or something." Jonathan said and smiled dearly at his little sister.

"You all don't look as surprise to see me as I thought you would be." Clary said looking from Jonathan, to look, then to Jocelyn who had a smile plastered across her face.

"You guys were on the news this morning." Jon said and looked at Jace.

"Oh Jesus, let me guess, 'New York's newest fling?'" Jace said and kissed Clary on the cheek. "Anyway, Jon we should head over to the studio, we have some songs to pick right?"

"Yeah, Clary you wanna come?" Jonathan asked and kissed Jocelyn goodbye on the cheek.

"I have nothing else to do." Clary smiled at her brother.

"We'll see you guys later." Jace said grabbing Clary's hand and pulling her back out the front door.

The three walked down the front steps and towards Jonathan's car.

xxx


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Jace we have to figure out which one we're gonna do first. Do you wanna sing daylight first or do you want to do Your Guardian Angel?" Jonathan asked from the sound board.

"Daylight, try and start off with the fast pace. We can sing Your Guardian Angel somewhere in the middle." Jace said and through the rubber band ball up in the air and caught it.

The group had been sitting in the recording studio for the past three hours trying to work out the details of the tour. Isabelle and Alec had left about an hour ago to get everyone food. Magnus went into his office to make a few phone calls to the bus company, to get a new bus with another room since Clary was joining them on tour.

Clary was sitting on the love seat next to the glass door which led into the recording room. She watched as Jace and Jonathan argued on what songs to play at what times. She started to dowse off, but the office phone wouldn't stop ringing so she quit trying.

Jace would occasionally look over at the bored red head that starred intently at the floor. He would smile to himself, and admire the beautiful girl starring at the floor.

"No Jonathan, I don't know what that is." Jace said rather loudly pulling Clary out of her day dream.

"Jace its simple, all you have to do is stick it into your ear, and it plays your song and all you have to do is sing along. It's like recording studio head phones but on stage." Jonathan said and flung ear buds at Jace. Clary stood up and looked into the studio, looking at the microphone and head phones that sat on a stool.

"Clary you okay?" Jon asked. She shook her head and kept starring at the studio through the glass barrier.

"Do you want to go in their?" Jon asked switching on the sound broad.

"Are you serious?" Clary asked her brother making her eyes light up.

"Yeah go in." He said and pushed open the door. Clary walked into the padded room, and sat down on the leather stool. She placed the head phones over her ears, and adjusted the microphone.

"Just tell me when you're ready." Jonathan voice came through the ear phones. Clary took a deep breath and pressed the ear phones closer to her ears then she shook her head indicating that she was ready.

Suddenly the music filled the booth; Clary opened her mouth, licked her lips and began to sing.

_(hit that, hit that snare)_

_I'm in the business of misery,  
>Let's take it from the top.<br>She's got a body like an hourglass; it's ticking like a clock.  
>It's a matter of time before we all run out,<br>When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth._

_I waited eight long months,  
>She finally set him free.<br>I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me.  
>Two weeks we caught on fire,<br>She's got it out for me,  
>But I wear the biggest smile.<em>

_Whoa, I never meant to brag.  
>But I got him where I want him now.<br>Whoa, it was never my intention to brag  
>To steal it all away from you now.<br>But God does it feel so good,  
>'Cause I got him where I want him now.<br>And if you could then you know you would.  
>'Cause God it just feels so...<br>It just feels so good._

_Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.  
>Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.<br>And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.  
>I'm sorry honey, but I passed it up, now look this way.<br>Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you.  
>Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,<br>They want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right.  
>Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!<em>

_Whoa, I never meant to brag  
>But I got him where I want him now.<br>Whoa, it was never my intention to brag  
>To steal it all away from you now.<br>But God does it feel so good,  
>'Cause I got him where I want him right now.<br>And if you could then you know you would.  
>'Cause God it just feels so...<br>It just feels so good._

_I watched his wildest dreams come true  
>Not one of them involving you<br>Just watch my wildest dreams come true  
>Not one of them involving...<em>

_Whoa, I never meant to brag  
>But I got him where I want him now.<em>

_Whoa, I never meant to brag  
>But I got him where I want him now.<br>Whoa, it was never my intention to brag  
>To steal it all away from you now.<br>But God does it feel so good,  
>'Cause I got him where I want him now.<br>And if you could then you know you would.  
>'Cause God it just feels so...<br>It just feels so good._

Clary had closed her eyes when she was singing, not realizing that Alec and Isabelle had returned, and Magnus has come out of his office. When she opened her eyes all of them were starring at her with awe though the glass. She took the head phones off and placed them on the seat.

She walked out of the studio and looked at the others her followed her with their eyes.

"Are you all okay?" Clary asked.

"Yeah." They all said in unison, Clary shook her head and picked up her jacket.

"I'm going to go smoke." She said and walked past the group still starring at her.

xxx

Clary stepped outside of the tall building, and stepped into the heart of New York City. Taxi's and other cars honked at each other loudly as they all drove past each other on the street. Women and men talked casually as they past Clary, not even giving her a second look.

Clary leaned up against the window and fished into her pocket for her lighter. She pulled out the lighter and lit her cigarette, Clary sat there for few moments watching the people and cars pass by. Occasionally she would see a reported and just put her head down, and pretend to be doing something on her phone. Life in New York was much different than life in Chicago.

Clary flicked her cigarette out into the street and returned into the warm building. She walked up the flight of stairs that led into the studio to find every one munching on some sort of Chinese food.

Clary walked over to the sofa where Jace was sitting and plopped down beside him. She placed her head on his shoulder and listened to the others; continue to talk about the song list for the concerts. Tiredness began to overcome Clary, dragging her down into her dreams.

xxx

Clary awoke to a sharp pain in her chest; she grasped her chest trying to make it stop. She looked around the room and noticed that she sleeping on Jace's bed. Confused she stood up, still holding onto her chest, and walked out of the bedroom. As she walked down the hallway she realised that she was sweating, she felt like she was going to be sick. She turned around and went back into the bedroom, and into the bathroom, she bent down to the toilet and vomited.

After it felt like she threw up everything in her stomach and stood up wobbly and grasped the sink, trying to keep herself balanced. The pain hand moved from her chest to her left arm.

"Clary you okay?" Jace said pushing the bathroom door open. He walked to her and grabbed her arms keeping her balanced, she leaned her head back so it lay on his soft chest.

"I think so. I must have eaten something bad." She whispered, letting go of the sink and losing all balanced. She fell into Jace's embrace, she looked up at him and her vision went black.

"Clary? Clary?" Jace said as he shook the limp.

"Jonathan!" Jace yelled.

Jonathan and Alec ran into the bathroom, looking at Jace and Clary on the floor. "Call 9-1-1" Jace yelled at Alec.

Jace looked down at Clary who was still in his arms, he looked from her to Jonathan. Her lips were turning blue and her face turning pale, with in the seconds as she was unconscious.

"We need an ambulance." Alec said into the phone. "She's unconscious…. No I don't know."

Jace held onto Clary tighter as if he wore protecting her from some invisible force.

xxx

Jace held Clary even tighter when he heard the sirens come up to the house; Jonathan ran to the door and opened for the EMT's. They ran into the bedroom, with a gurney and a med kit.

The medic put a finger to Clary's throat to try and feel her pulse. "She's still alive." He said.

A wave of relief washed over Jace, but was soon gone when the medic widened his eyes. "She's not breathing."

The medic placed a plastic tube into Clary's nose, forcing her to breathe. Once she actually begun to breathe again the medics placed her onto the gurney, the pushed the gurney out of the house and into the back of the ambulance.

As the medics started to put the gurney into the ambulance, Clary started to seizures, her body started to shake in every way possible. Jace starred at her paralyzed, he couldn't move he didn't know what to do. All he felt like doing was crying, but he knew deep down that crying want going to help anyone.

"She's going into shock!" the other medic shouted at the driver. He took a needle and inserted it into the IV that was imbedded in Clary's skin. Clary's body began to slow down, then she stopped moving. The medic looked at her and took her vitals, just making sure she was still alive.

They shut the back of the ambulance doors, and drove away leaving Jace, Jonathan and Alec behind to watch it turn the corner.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

'_Clary! Clary darling! Where are you?' Valentine shouted from the hallway. _

_Clary ran out of her bedroom, down the stairs and into her father's open arms. She had missed the smell of him, old cologne and lemons, he had gone to Amsterdam to go fix up some problems that had occurred at one of his construction worksites. His work made him travel, keeping him from home for weeks, leaving Clary home by herself. _

"_Aw Clary sweetheart, how I missed you." Valentine said and kissed his loving daughter on the head. She released him a little bit just to look up at him. _

"_How was your trip?" She asked curiously as they walked together to the kitchen._

"_Fine, business is boring as usual. I wish I would have come home sooner though, traveling without you is like rubbing salt over a wound." Valentine said and poured himself a glass of whiskey. _

"_Oh your mother called while I was away." He said taking a sip of the auburn drink. _

"_And what did the monster have to say?" Clary said picking up a magazine trying to pretend to be interested on the topic of her mother. _

"_Well apparently your brother has pursued his love for music and formed a band." Valentine said looking over the glass at his daughter. She looked up from her magazine and started to eye her father, cocking her eyebrow at the idea of her brother performing some sort of music. _

"_Jonathan and music? Oh dear lord, I wonder who mom had to bribe for him to get a chance in the music industry."Clary snickered and resumed back to reading. _

"_Ha very funny Clary, you know your mother and brother used to say the same thing about you and your drawings, and now look at you. That is why you and I will be going to his band's signing next weekend." Valentine said and placed his glass in the sink._

"_What!? I cant Im busy." Clary expressed. _

"_Oh really, and what will you be doing?" Valentine asked walking over to his daughter. _

"_I don't know, I'll fine something to do." She said and smiled up at him. He clipped her chin with his fingers and smiled down at her. _

"_You are one of a kind, my little angle." He said and bent down and kissed her forehead. "One of a kind." _

_xxx_

Phones rang, nurse's chit-chatted, and people moaned and groaned throughout the hall ways of New York City Emergency Hospital. Jace sat in the hallway, his knees to his chest, and his hands over his eyes, and tears streaming down his face, as he thought of Clary's limp body In his arms. Everytime a door would open Jace's head would shoot straight up in hopes that a nurse or a doctor would bring news of Clary.

It seemed that no one knew what was going on, no one had the answers. Everytime they had an answer her condition would change, her heart rate would decrease, or she would stop breathing. Jace's questions were left unanswered as he rocked himself in the hallway trying to keep calm.

Jonathan had left a while ago to bring Jocelyn and Luke to the hospital, but Jace knew deep down that seeing Jocelyn panic would send his nerves over the edge. When Jonathan made the call to Jocelyn, Jace could hear her screaming, and yelling on the other end.

'_She seemed fine at the studio, she was laughing, talking, even singing… what happened_?' Jace thought to himself.

"Where's my baby! Clary!" Jace was ripped from his thoughts to a hysterical Jocelyn running through the main entrance.

"Jace! Where is she, is she okay? Dear god please let her be ok." Jocelyn said as she ran towards Jace. She looked at his tear stained face, and frowned letting her own tears run down her face.

"Jace, have they said anything?" She asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

"They don't know anything." He answered back but still starred at the window of the surgery room.

Jocelyn clung to the golden boy, and they both sunk to the floor, tightening their grips around each other. Jocelyn placed her head on his shoulder, and starred at the pale white wall.

xxx

Wires hooked in and out of Clary's body as she laid there lifelessly under the hospitals lights. Doctors did tests on everything they could think of, but everything turned up negative, or that she was fine, but it left them with multiple questions.

Why was she still asleep?

The doctors left the room, leaving a nurse in the room to keep track of what she was doing when they weren't there. Quietness filled the contained room, all that was there were machine beeps, and a pen writing back and forth on the paper in front of the nurse.

Clary's eyes started to flutter open, only appearing in her vision of brightness from the lights. Clary saw the blackness of a figure come into line of sight, fear clenched her body, taking over her mind she screamed. She screamed and screamed over and over again as she felt hands grab her body. She kicked and flailed her arms, not affecting anything but weirdly she felt that she had to fight.

"Dad!" She screamed as hot tears stung her blurred eyes, making her vision even blurrier than it was before. She felt a needle insert itself into her body, pushing cold liquid into her veins sending shivers down her spine. She began to calm down, she looked towards the hallway, or what she thought was the door and saw a tall figure stand outside the window, placing a hand on the glass.

"Jace!" she whimpered as she felt herself begin to lose consciousness.

xxx

"She was conscious for a few seconds, but she was lucid her vision was blurry so she couldn't fully see us, only our figures. We gave her a mild sedative so she will most likely be asleep for the next couple of hours." The doctor said as he rubbed his stubble on his face. He paced back and forth in front of Jocelyn, Jace, Jonathan and Isabelle.

"She was awake and you put her back to sleep." Jocelyn stated.

"Yes, we had to make sure she wasn't a threat to us or most importantly herself. We ran multiple tests, and examines over her and all we can conclude is that she is sleep deprived." The doctor stated looking at the shocked group.

"Sleep deprived?" Jocelyn said taking hold of Jonathans hand. "All of this trouble, and scene she made earlier was because she is tired?" Jocelyn said in almost a laugh.

"Mrs. Garraway, she just lost her father, she could be have nightmares or thoughts that keep her up at night. She could be going through severe stages of depression and is just very good at hiding her emotions. It happens to many teenagers after their parents separate, or a death in the family." The doctor said and gave Jocelyn a stern look. "The reason for this sleep deprivation could be multiple things."

The doctor looked at the group, and sighed. "We will keep her here to run a few more tests, but once she wakes up there won't be anything we can do but to let her sleep." He said and left the conference room.

Jace let out a shaky breath and raked his hands through his greasy hair. He had heard Clary screaming earlier and ran to her room to see her through a window being held down by nurses and doctors, as they injected her with a syringe, the image had made Jace shiver.

xxx

Clary gasped as she opened her eyes seeing once again the brightness of the lights. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust the blurriness from earlier had disappeared. She could see everything in the room, clear as day, she even saw a stranger asleep in the arm chair next to her bed. She stared at him with intent trying to figure out who he was, but his name wouldn't come to her head.

The boy stirred and looked up at the red head who looked at him with confusion. Relief washed over him, he stood up and rushed to he, he must have shocked her a bit because she scooted away from him.

"Clary." He breathed out grasping her hand. He looked into her emerald eyes and smiled, she starred at him in horror.

"Who are you?" She breathed out and yanked her hand away from the golden haired boy.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_Cut my life into pieces  
>This is my last resort,<br>Suffocation, no breathing  
>Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding<br>This is my last resort,_

_Cut my life into pieces  
>I've reached my last resort,<br>Suffocation, no breathing  
>Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding<br>Do you even care if I die bleeding?_

_Would it be wrong, would it be right?  
>If I took my life tonight,<br>Chances are that I might  
>Mutilation out of sight<br>And I'm contemplating suicide_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<br>Losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<em>

_I never realized I was spread too thin  
>'Til it was too late and I was empty within<br>Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin  
>Downward spiral, where do I begin?<em>

_It all started when I lost my mother  
>No love for myself and no love for another<br>Searching to find a love upon a higher level  
>Finding nothing but questions and devils<em>

_'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<br>Losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<em>

_Nothing's alright, nothing is fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying  
>I'm crying <em>_[4x]__  
>I can't go on living this way<em>

_Cut my life into pieces  
>This is my last resort,<br>Suffocation, no breathing  
>Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding<em>

_Would it be wrong, would it be right?  
>If I took my life tonight,<br>Chances are that I might  
>Mutilation out of sight<br>And I'm contemplating suicide_

_'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<br>Losing my sight, losing my mind  
>Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine<em>

_Nothing's alright, nothing is fine_

_I'm running and I'm crying  
>I can't go on living this way<em>

_Can't go on, living this way, nothing's alright_

Jace sang into the microphone, as Magnus slid keys on the sound board. Isabelle and Alec sat on the couch reading something from the tabloids about the band, and Jonathan was at the hospital. Jonathan spent every moment at the hospital with Clary and Jocelyn, trying to help Clary remember what has happened in the past two months.

'_Clary what do you mean you don't know me?' Jace asked the red head who kept moving away from Jace as if he were a disease. She moved to the opposite side of the hospital bed trying to put as much distance between herself and the golden stranger. _

"_It's pretty self explanatory. I… don't ….know… you!" Clary exclaimed loudly. She kept her eyes on Jace, watching his every move. "Where's my dad?" She whispered. _

_Jace looked at her with pure confusion. "Clary he's gone." _

"_Gone? Why would he go home without me, that doesn't sound like him. Something must be wrong; I need my phone I have to call him." Clary went to get out of bed when Jocelyn and Jonathan stepped into the room. _

"_Clary!" Jocelyn exclaimed and reached for Clary, who darted away from her and stepped around her. _

"_What are you doing here?" Clary asked her mother crossing her arms over her chest. "Did dad ask you to come?" She scoffed. "I don't need you, I need him. Now where is he?" _

_Jocelyn face fell from her joyous smile to a heart breaking frown. She looked her daughter up and down and shook her head. "Clary, sweetheart don't you remember? He's gone." She whispered._

"_what do you mean gone?" Clary stepped forward a little bit waiting for the answer._

"_He's…dead." Jocelyn sighed holding her hands tight to her chest. _

_Clary starred at her mother for a second or two before her lip started to quiver and her eyes started to tear up. She knelt to the floor, shaking her head, mumbling things to herself that weren't audible. _

"_No, no we were going to go to New York next weekend to see Jonathans signing. He had just come home, he's not dead. He… can't be dead." Clary said out loud, as if she were trying to convince herself. Jonathan stepped forward and bent down to his sister; he wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back to soothe her. She began to weep, and sob into her brother's shoulder like a 5 year old who had lost her puppy. _

_Jace and Jocelyn starred at the siblings who sat on the floor. They listened to Clary's sobs, and cringed as she screamed for her father. _

_xxx_

_Clary sat on hospital bed starring off at the ceiling, not listening to what the people around her were saying. Something about have amnesia, or something along the lines of that. Her heart was breaking inside her chest; she couldn't pay attention to the things the doctors were saying. _

_After she shed her tears for her father, a tall blue eyed boy came in with a tall blue eyed girl, along with a spiky haired man. They all said things like 'you scared us to death.' Or 'hope you get better before the tour.' These words meant nothing to Clary, she had no idea who half the people in the room were, but she just kept to herself and watched out the window. _

"_Clary, are you listening." Jocelyn said to her daughter who was starring out the window. _

"_Hmm, im sorry what?" Clary said._

"_The doctors said you can go home after a few weeks of therapy." Jocelyn said smiling at her cold daughter. Clary rolled her eyes and kept starring out the window. _

"_I don't need therapy." She responded._

"_If you want to get your memories back, yes you do." Jocelyn answered. _

_Clary looked from the window to her mother who starred at her with eyes of sorrow. She gave her mother a glare that would make Lucifer himself shake with fear. "And If I don't want them back?" _

"_Of course you want them Clary don't be silly." Jocelyn answered laughing at her daughter's attitude. _

"_I don't." She answered bitterly. _

"_Clary…" Jocelyn began but was cut off by her daughter._

"_Get out." Clary answered angrily._

"_But Clary.."_

"_I said get out!" Clary said with tears running down her face. _

_The group stood up and left the room quietly, they watched as their friend continued to stare out the window with tears rolling down her cheeks. _

_xxx_

The band sat in the recording studio, listening to the album critiquing what they thought was wrong. Jace's mind kept traveling to Clary, oh how much he missed her. He missed her smile, her laugh; he smiled the way her forehead would wrinkle when she would try to concentrate.

"Jace what do you think?" Magnus said looking at Jace with concern.

"Its good." He answered shortly. Magnus sighed and shook his head, then darted his eyes to Alec who sat starring at Jace with concern.

"Jace, she'll be alright. Its just going to take some time." Isabelle said place a hand on her brothers shoulder. Jace stood up abruptly shaking of Isabelle's hand.

"And what if she doesn't, want to remember? What then? I go on in my life loving a woman who doesn't even remember me?" Jace answered angrily.

"Jonathan says that she remembers more and more every day." Isabelle said with a weak smile. "You need to visit her, the more you visit her, the more likely she'll remember you."

"I can't see her and act like this." Jace waves his arms around in the air. "Doesn't affect me, like everyone else is doing. I can't pretend that I'm not in love with her."

"Jace, just give her time... This is going to be as hard for her as it is for you." Alec said.

Jace sighed and raked his fingers through his tangled hair, and walked out of the studio.

xxx

"Clary close your eyes and try to remember the last time you were happy." Doctor Carstairs said from his chair. He had silver like hair, and sorrowful eyes hidden under his glasses.

Clary closed her eyes and laid her head back on the head rest on the couch. Listening to Doctor Carstairs, talk and talk about her condition.

"Ok now tell me your last happy memory." He said and pulled out his pen and started to write on his note pad.

"I was 16, Dad and I got concert tickets to see Fall Out Boy in New York. When we're in town, dad insisted that I go and see my mother; I drove to her house and walked to the front door. I saw from the window Jonathan and his band practicing his music in the living room, dancing around laughing. I felt happy for, I hadn't seen him in 2 years, and he seemed to be happier than ever. So I was happy for him." Clary said and rubbed her forehead.

"Did you go into the house?" Doctor Carstairs asked.

"No, I didn't want to interrupt so I went and got a tattoo instead." Clary answered.

"Do you remember what the band members looked like?" he asked.

"Yeah, there was a tall black haired girl, she had really big boobs, and there was a tallish black haired boy who was drumming next to Jonathan." Clary answered.

"Was anyone else there?"

"Yes, there was a tall, golden hair boy; with golden eyes when I was standing there he kept starring at me. I thought he saw me but he didn't get the door or anything he just waved when Jonathan turned around." Clary answered feeling a ting in her heart as she thought about the boy more.

"Do you know his name?" doctor Carstairs asked.

Clary closed her eyes again, and raked through her brain, trying to remember who he was. Images flew through her mind of his smile, his laugh echoed through her ears. She squeezed her eyes tighter as she remembered.

"I remember when I first woke up in the hospital. I was all by myself, I was cold and scared. I was screaming, and then people came and held me down. I looked out the window and saw a figure pressing his hand against the glass. I screamed his name… what is it!" Clary huffed.

"Take your time Clary, you're remembering a lot within a limited amount of time, its complete-." Doctor Carstairs said but was interrupted.

"Jace. I screamed for Jace." Clary said and opened her eyes, as she stood up she suddenly felt a pain in her head. "Agh!" she yelled and grasped her head.

"Clary, what's wrong?" Doctor Carstairs said and grasped her elbows.

"My… head." Clary said before she fell unconscious in the doctors arms.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>They strung up a man  
>They say who murdered three.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Where the dead man called out  
>For his love to flee.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Where I told you to run,  
>So we'd both be free.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Wear a necklace of rope,  
>Side by side with me.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Where I told you to run,  
>So we'd both be free.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>They strung up a man  
>They say who murdered three.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

_Are you, are you  
>Coming to the tree<br>Where the dead man called out  
>For his love to flee.<br>Strange things did happen here  
>No stranger would it be<br>If we met at midnight  
>In the hanging tree.<em>

"We were talking about Jace, then all of a sudden she got this pain in her head, and she collapsed." Dr. Jem said to Jocelyn as he sat there next to her in the hospital room.

"Does she remember Jace?" Jocelyn whispered as a tear rolled down her face.

"Yes, I think so." Jem said with a smile. "She should wake up in a few hours." He said and stood up and walked out of the room leaving Jocelyn and Clary by themselves. Jocelyn grabbed her daughters hand and kissed it, she stroked her hand against Clary's cheek and smiled down at her daughter.

"Do you remember when you were younger, how you used to watch me paint for hours and hours. You would just sit there and watch my hand trace the canvas, your father would have to come get you for you to go to bed. I haven't drawn in so long, it's not the same without you being behind me, mentally critiquing my work. Aw Clary my sweetheart, I have missed you so much. I wish I would have taken you when I had the chance. The memories we could have had over those 4 miserable years." Jocelyn sniffled, but then turned her attention to the door, where Jace was standing smirking at her.

"Jace, how are you?" Jocelyn said and wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I'm okay." Jace said and walked over towards the women. "How are you?"

"I'm wrecked." She whispered and turned attention to her daughter. "I just wished everything would go back to normal."

"Yeah, normal would be nice." Jace whispered and sat down on the edge of the bed. Jace reached over a rubbed Clary's leg, he sighed and looked over at Jocelyn who was rubbing her face quietly.

Jocelyn starred at the boy, who starred at her daughter with love and hope in his eyes. "Jace, do you love Clary?" she asked.

Jace smiled as she starred at the red head, he began to nod his head. "Yes, yes I do."

Jocelyn smiled at the young man. "Good, she needs some one to take care of her."

Jocelyn stood up and placed a hand on Jace's shoulder, she placed a kiss on his head. "Jace I'm going to call Luke, I'll be back soon." She said and walked out of the hospital room, leaving Jace and Clary in the silence.

Jace sat there in the uncomfortable silence, watching over the quiet girl lying in the bed. He scouted forward a little bit; he grabbed her hand and stroked her knuckles with his thumbs.

"Clary please wake up, I need you to wake up." Jace whispered.

Jace let go of Clary's hand and got up and move to the chair that sat next to the bed, he sunk into the chair and rested his head against the back. He closed his eyes and started to feel exhaustion wave over him, he couldn't remember the last time he sleep through an entire night. He would toss and turn all night, not staying in one position.

The monitor's beeping kept waking Jace from his sleep, every time he would begin to drift to sleep; the monitor seemed to get louder. Jace gave up on trying to sleep and just watched Clary, her cheeks looked sunken in and she had bags under her eyes, she looked as if she hasn't eaten in weeks.

Jace stood up and walked to the window of the room, looking out to see the beautiful blue sky, and the clouds passing through the bright sky. He sighed and continued watching kids run around in the hospital play ground. He just watched life go on outside of the hospital, because in the hospital it seemed that life stood still. Jace pressed his head against the window and continued to look out.

xxx

Clary opened her eyes and looked around the room, the moon shined into her room leaving a shadow on the wall. Clary took in a deep breath and looked around her; no one was in the room.

"Jace?" Clary whispered, expecting there to be a response, but no one spoke up. Clary got out of bed, and shivered when her bare feet hit the freezing hospital floor, light was pouring out of the hall way window. Clary walked over to the door and pulled it open, walking through it into the very bright hall way. She looked down the hallway to try and find the waiting room; she walked a few feet until she saw golden hair talking on the phone in the waiting room.

She sighed with relief and her heart beat started to quicken. "Jace."

She walked a few more steps hoping that he would see her, but his back was to her. He began to turn to go back to the room when he saw fiery red hair in the hall way, his heart dropped.

Jace dropped the phone, and began to run toward Clary. Their bodies hit each other in one swift movement, but it didn't stop Jace from picking her up and swung her around. Clary giggled and started to tear up, she tightened her arms around Jace, pulling him closer to her.

Jace placed her back on the floor, and looked down at her; she was smiling up at him with tears in her eyes. He bent down and kissed her passionately, they stood there in silken only aware of each other. Jace slid his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance, Clary opened her mouth and let his tongue slid into hers. Their tongues danced passionately together, forgetting everything that was happening around them, until they heard clicking and snapping of cameras.

Jace pulled back from Clary and looked around to see photographers, and reporters standing outside the hospitals windows. Clary smiled up at Jace, and leaned her head against his chest; Jace nuzzled his nose into her neck and placed a small chaste kiss on her icy skin.

"I missed you so much." He said against her skin wrapping his arms tighter around her waist. "I love you Clary."

"I love you too." She whispered into his chest and leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Clary!" Jace and Clary heard behind them, they turned to see Jonathan running over to them with Isabelle on his tail.

Clary let go of Jace and ran into Jon's embrace, he spun her around as well as Jace did. "Okay, Jonathan put me down before I have to re-taste my dinner." Clary said feeling a little woozy.

Jonathan released his sister and smiled. "Sorry Clary, I'm just so glad you're okay."

"Clary!" Isabelle said and pulled her into a hug.

Clary gave Isabelle a reassuring hug then froze in her embrace. She let go and looked at Jonathan. "You're supposed to be on tour! What are you doing here?" she exclaimed.

"Magnus asked the tour director if we could move it to next month." Jonathan said giving Clary a reassured smile.

"You shouldn't have rescheduled." Clary said.

"Yes, because I would go and travel the world, while my little sister was at home with amnesia." Jonathan said. "Because I would totally do that."

Clary smiled at her brother and then darted her eyes to the crowd of photographers that were lining up against the windows, snapping pictures of all of them. She starred at them for a while, and then back to her brother and Jace.

"I guess, the media was worried about me too." Clary said an raised her eyebrows to her friends.

"You should see the news; they've got a good story on you." Isabelle said and waved to the photographers.

"Hmm, maybe later." Clary said, and started to walk back to her room.


	18. Chapter 18

_(3 months later)_

_It started with a picture,  
>Those messages you sent to me.<br>You're like the perfect mixture  
>Of Megan Fox and Katy P.<em>

_It's such a sick obsession,  
>And now you've got the best of me.<br>I've got the worst intentions,  
>So call me over and set me free.<em>

_I can give you what you want._

__Jace sang into the microphone as the screaming fans, seemed to scream louder at his voice. Clary held her hands up to her ears trying to muffle the sounds of the teenage girls, but nothing could muffle their high pitch screams. It started with a picture,

_It's taking me over.  
>I don't wanna play this game no more.<br>All you gotta do is tell me right now,  
>You want me right now, come on.<br>Give me the green light.  
>We could have all night<br>If you just say the word.  
>Tell me it's alright.<br>Give me the green light._

_You got me where you want me,  
>I'm hanging on your every word.<br>It's such a twisted story,  
><em>  
>Clary sang along to song, as she was watching from the side of the stage. This was her favorite part about Jace, how he could just pour his heart out into a song, like nothing could hurt him while he was on stage.<p>

It started with a picture,  
>Those messages you sent to me.<br>_How you got me,  
>Now you got me.<em>

_So let me give you what you need._

_It's taking me over.  
>I don't wanna play this game no more.<br>All you gotta do is tell me right now,  
>You want me right now, come on.<br>Give me the green light.  
>We could have all night<br>If you just say the word.  
>Tell me it's alright.<br>Give me the green light._

_So let me give you what you need._

Jace kept looking over at Clary and winking at her making her blush. She smiled and shook at her head at him, when there was a break in the song he looked over at her and mouthed the words '_I love you'_ she smiled and mouthed _'I love you too.'_

_It's taking me over.  
>I don't wanna play this game no more.<br>All you gotta do is tell me right now,  
>You want me right now, come on.<br>Give me the green light.  
>We could have all night<br>If you just say the word.  
>Tell me it's alright.<br>Give me the green light_

"Thank you Dallas!" Jace yelled into the microphone and walked off the stage towards Clary. He smiled a proud smile at her and wrapped his sweaty arms around her skinny waist. He pressed a sloppy kiss on her dry lips, clary felt Jace smile on her lips then she pulled back looking up at the smiley boy.

"What?" She asked wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Nothing I'm just so happy you're here." He whispered into her ear trying not to yell, she smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'm happy I'm here to."

"Yes we get it, you both are in love now can y'all help pack up equipment we have to be in Orlando by tomorrow." Jon said setting down his guitar case in front of Clary and Jace. Clary pouted her lips at her brother and released Jace from her grasp. "Oh Jon what's got you now, Isabelle back on the abstinence parade again?" Clary teased her brother who threw ear plugs at her.

"Put a cork in it Morgenstern and help me pack this shit up, while your boyfriend gets dressed." Jon said wrapping up some wires from stage. Clary smiled at her brother who walked back onto stage, she turned to Jace who was making at Jon behind his back, Clary giggled and placed a hand over her mouth trying to confine her amusement.

"Ever since we got on tour, he's been acting like my mother I thought we left Jocelyn at home." Jace said and ran his hand through his sweaty hair. Clary stepped forward and kissed Jace taking him by surprise, Jace wrapped his arms around her small body, and Clary pulled back and looked up at the smelly singer.

"Go get a shower, you stink." She said and placed a kiss on his nose; Jace smiled and shook his head releasing Clary. "Wanna join me?" Jace asked looking back at Clary.

"SHE'S BUSY!" Jon yelled from the stage while packing up some cables and stands. Clary let out a wave of laughs and waved after Jace who walked to his dressing room.

xxx

After 2 hours of cleaning up Clary was sore, tired, and dizzy, she and Jon helped the crew clean up the stadium, and also cleaned up the stage from the things the fans threw up for Jace to have. Clary threw away at least 50 bras and 20 pairs of underwear, boys and girls under wear. Clary shivered at the thought of the under wear and immediately washed her hands then applied germ-x, she made her way down the hall way towards Jace's dressing room.

The room was silent besides the sound of Jace singing in the shower. Clary smiled and sat down in one of the love seats that was customary in every dressing room, and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through the news feed and comments about the bands performance, and then she checked to see if there were any new stories about her and Jace.

'_3 months ago tomorrow the lead singer of 'Bleeding Angels' Jace Herondale, announced that he and Clarissa Morgenstern the sister of Jonathan Fairchild, the bands leading guitarist, are infact dating. Now after he announced this information, Clarissa was rushed to the hospital from Jace Herondale's apartment, no one commented on the situation. _

_Clarissa and Jace have been spotted down town New York and Chicago, Clarissa was also spotted getting onto the bands tour bus last week when the band started their 'Angelic Tour.' For more information on how to get tickets for the tour, please visit our website.'_

Clary laughed at the tabloid's website and scrolled down to the comments on the article.

'_Clarissa Morgenstern and Jace Herondale have announced that they are 'dating.' Did anybody know that Jace Herondale dated people; the world just thought Jace Herondale had fuck buddies. Man she must be in bed if he's kept her around for almost 4 months.'_

Clary's eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open as she read the comment. She felt tears well in her eyes as she read the endless comments. The words _'good in bed'_ hit Clary like a bus, her hands began to shake and tears started to roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away and turned off her phone, she heard the shower stop, and wiped her face again.

Jace walked up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek, Clary gave him a weak smile and kissed him back. He looked down at her worried; she sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Are you okay?" He asked and rubbed her back trying to calm her.

"Yeah I'm just really tired, and for the last 2 hours I picked up at least 50 bras and 30 pairs of underwear." She said and he let out a chuckle then stopped.

"Please tell me you washed your hands… right?" Jace asked picking up Clary's hands with his fingers.

"Yes smart ass." She elbowed him in the stomach making him groan, he rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Hey you never know what was in those undergarments."

Clary shivered at the thought and stood up from the couch and reached for her jacket. "Come on the bus is going to leave without us if we don't go now."

Jace stood up and pulled Clary into his arms and placed a hot kiss on her lips. Clary felt lost for a second, she forgot about the comments, and the mean people who said things about them, and focused on her and Jace.

"I love you." Jace whispered.

"I love you too." Clary said back and took Jace's hand and led to the bus.


End file.
